HolyCadaver

HolyCadaver t1_jeajbth wrote

I decided early on that I would become the old man with infinite amounts of old person candy in my pockets.

My wife is constantly confused as to where all the peppermints (the kind that melt obviously) butterscotch and strawberry bon bons keep coming from.

I won't ever let her know that I buy it all in bulk and constantly keep myself stocked so I can hand out old people candy to my nieces and nephews.

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HolyCadaver t1_j29nj0d wrote

People will be hopping on game shows just to pay their monthly rent for entertainment soon.

In the left corner we have Trisha! She's a 31 year old pregnant mom who needs $887 to make ends meet this week.

In the right corner we have Todd! A 36 year old with a PHD in physics who just couldn't find his bootstraps!

Now the moment you've all been waiting for, let's watch them duke it out for the grand prize of $250, and a 2.99 gift card to Starbucks. (minus shipping and handling, plus taxes and fees which may or may not exceed the 250 mark, by watching this episode you are agreeing to have your name drawn to be the next contestant)

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