Maybe just try leaving him alone. Stop pushing him to talk about it. Some people need more time to process their feelings or to move on from negative emotions. You pushing him is probably making it worse.

Can you possibly list a few examples of things you could do for her? I mean her just vaguely saying you need to do more but then saying she can’t tell you what isn’t very helpful. So maybe try offering a few things and seeing if anything strikes a cord:

Do you want me to plan more of our daily activities? Do you want me to help more around the house (if you live together) Do you want me to touch you/cuddle you/whatever more?

See where this conversation gets you.

Don’t do it

Is this fake or do you really hate all children this much? Listen, I get it, it isn’t what you were expecting, but children being present at a wedding doesn’t have to ruin your life. When I got married we had activity packs that the ushers gave out at the door (quiet stuff like coloring books and stickers) and then at the reception there was more coloring and a paper plane table where the kids could all play together. It was kind of off to one side. No tantrums, no breakdowns, nothing. You need to get over yourself.

Your body just built and birthed an entire human being!! You are strong and amazing! Look at your baby and find the strength to put this man in your past.