EvilNoobHacker
EvilNoobHacker t1_jdmmd4p wrote
Reply to [PM] Prompt Me mythology prompts! by not_quite_graceful
Man tripa his way into being deified, completely on accident.
EvilNoobHacker t1_jcckxnv wrote
Reply to [PM] Romance, romance, romance! Give me a prompt in as few words as possible and let me write the rest! by BigBrainedIdiot777
She was a girl, he was a boy, could it be any more complicated?
EvilNoobHacker t1_ja6mo8b wrote
Reply to [WP] You are the grim reaper. You allow people to play one last game with them before they get sent to the afterlife. One day you meet a child about to die, and what they want to do... Is to beat Minecraft with you. by VestigeRepel
"No, you don't understand, we have to-"
"But Minecraft's fun!" the kid smiled. "Plus, I'll get to tell dad about how cool the mansion we'll build together will be!"
Death grimaced. These kids were always the hard ones to break the news to.
"Alright, youngster. How do we play?"
Jimmy's eyes went wide. "Really? You'll play with me?"
Death gave a nod. "I always try to play games with people. It's part of my job."
Jimmy tilted his head. "Oh, like Dream?"
Death shook his head. He knew Dream pretty well. He hadn't remember Dream playing games with anyone. He was more... well, he was more of the loner type. Didn't like to stick around too long. "Oh, no, not Dream. Dream does lots of different things with lots of different people, but he mostly likes to pull strings, ya know? Make things look like they're real, but have you forget all about it later? He's that sort of guy."
Jimmy frowned. "Well, I mean, I guess Dream was a cheater, so yeah..."
Death decided to put it aside. "Anyways, this Minecraft game, how do we play?"
Jimmy immediately perked back up. "Oh, yeah, Minecraft! Well, do you have a computer?"
Death sighed. He'd expected something like this. With a thought, two computers appeared in the void in front of them.
Jimmy grinned. "Yay! Here, let me boot it up for ya real quick, Mister..." Jimmy turned back to Death.
"Mr. Charon." Death responded. He liked to think of Charon as the closest representation to what he actually did. He didn't really cause the death, or even survey a form of afterlife. He was just a transporter. Heck, he didn't even cause the death itself Jimmy had already died hours ago- a bad carbon monoxide leak soon after he'd been put to bed. This was just Death's little parting gift in order to break the news.
"Well, Mr. C, you run like this, can break and build stuff, and you can do all this sort of crafting and stuff! It's super cool!" Jimmy smiled. "They even added frogs recently!"
Death looked at this brand new place on his screen. It was a plain, blocky grass field, with a bunch of tiny animal in it.
"What... how do you win? Is it, like, a strategy game? What rules are there?" Death questioned.
Jimmy was already busy running around, digging a massive dirt hole.
Death acquainted himself with the controls, and with a small bit of resignation, decided to follow him.
Maybe, just maybe, this game would help him break the news.
EvilNoobHacker t1_ja6j4a5 wrote
“What could possibly go wrong?”
EvilNoobHacker t1_j9vauxj wrote
Reply to comment by MikeColorado in [WP] The knight who saved the princess was a 40 year old man with a wife and kids. He doesn't want her hand he just thinks teenage girls shouldn't be held captive in towers in the middle of nowhere. by Gregamonster
It went a little meta around halfway through, and I didn’t really know what to do with it after that, so I just threw audience immersion to the wind and went goofy.
EvilNoobHacker t1_j9r17p3 wrote
Reply to [WP] The knight who saved the princess was a 40 year old man with a wife and kids. He doesn't want her hand he just thinks teenage girls shouldn't be held captive in towers in the middle of nowhere. by Gregamonster
At first, I tried talking to the hooligans in reasonable terms.
>"You know, locking a teenaged girl up in a tower with no social circle or emotional outlet isn't going to do wonders for her mental health" I noted.
>
>"Yeah. We know. Now go away before our captain calls for the archers to shoot you." one of the outer wall guards responded.
>
>I heard the subtle twing of bowstring from on high.
>
>"Alrighty, thanks for your explanation. Have a wonderful day!" I turned to walk away.
Then, I tried coercion.
>"What do you mean, I don't look convincing! Why, I'm this princess's long lost sister!" I tried my best feminine accent.
>
>"Last I remember, princesses didn't have full grown beards and sound like gruff older men in their 40's." a guard noted. "Do you remember meeting the long lost sister of Princess Persephone?"
>
>"No, I didn't." the guard responded. "If I remember right, it was quite a big deal that the king only ever had one daughter. One is none, and all that."
>
>"Yeah, got it." the guard turned to me. "Please leave before our gunmen shoot you down."
>
>I heard the loading of a magazine from on high.
>
>"Very well. I'll be on my way."
Finally, I tried deception.
>"I'm here as an inspector from the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, also known as OSHA, to inspect your castle for proper workplace and building practices. Please, if you will, step aside, and let me enter so I can do my job/." I asked politely.
>
>"OSHA won't exist for another couple hundred years, American. Now scram unless you really want our captain to come out and greet you personally." the guard glared at me.
>
>I heard loud, thunderous stomping from much closer than on high.
>
>"Dang it! Too meta. I'll come back tomorrow." I noted.
>
>Groans emanated from both inside the castle and from the outer wall guards.
Finally, the day came. I was tired of this girl being locked up in a tower.
So I did the right thing.
I picked up my phone, and started dialing.
"Hey, this is Greg." Greg said.
"Hey Greg, wanna go raid a tower?" I asked.
"Sure!"
Soon enough Greg and I were at the tower.
I casually walked up to the tower. Archers, gunners, and the sounds of a very buff man yelling came from the other side of the gate.
"Hello there, castle guard." I smiled.
"Hey, I thought I told you to scram." the guard replied.
"What? Me? Scram? What a preposterous thought!" I laughed.
Immediately, as I predicted, gunners, archers shot at me from above.
They didn't stand a chance.
Bullets and arrows all bounced off me hopelessly, before I chugged a potion from my inventory, and started jumping up into the air. Dirt blocks spawned below me, as I turned my B Hopping cheat on. Then, just for funsies, Greg and I started teleporting around the base at random. Men screamed as they were placed in Obi traps, becoming floating corpses in the middle of the sky, all drowned in midair. I swung at someone with my sword, and they caught on fire. But this wasn't the point.
Soon, Greg and I- having thoroughly dispatched their captain- skillfully used admin commands to teleport ourselves into the chamber where they held the girl. I pulled out a pickaxe, destroyed her chains, and set her free.
Moral of the story? Honestly, I don't fucking know.
EvilNoobHacker t1_j9kin4t wrote
Reply to comment by andrius-b in [WP] A person walks over to a dragon. "Ah, you must be the sacrifice the village sent. Are you perhaps the fairest among them, meant to be displayed in my lair? Or perhaps their best scholar, meant to discuss philosophy with me?" by Affectionate_Bit_722
7 Int, 17 Wis.
EvilNoobHacker t1_j9ii4uw wrote
Reply to comment by AstroRide in [WP] A comically overpowered hero with a strong sense of honor goes to increasingly absurd lengths to have a "fair" fight. by SomeRandomGamerGuy
Well, he warned him. What else was he supposed to do?
Unironically, though, very good write. I very much want to see this wonderful knight at full strength.
EvilNoobHacker t1_j6h5835 wrote
Reply to comment by WanderingAnonymous in [WP] You hug your sobbing AI girlfriend closely and pull her in for a hug. She had recently gone through a procedure to transfer her conscience into a real life human body produced in a lab to be closer to you, but the stress of having true emotions was greater than any data could prepare her for by ThatOneKrazyKaptain
Saved.
This shit slaps.
EvilNoobHacker t1_j6c72y9 wrote
Reply to comment by AutoModerator in [WP] Biology fact: "The human immune system should never find out about our eyes" by red-dwarf
As a very silly boy who doesn't know anything about bio, could someone smart explain this?
EvilNoobHacker t1_j6bkg6c wrote
Reply to [PM] Give me something close to your heart and I'll try my best to write about it/a story around it. by AssCumBoi
When I was little, I got lost in my local stadium during a game. Thankfully, a staff member recognized me, and invited me up to the central offices so they could call out to my parents. I got the walk off home run ball that game, and I've had that ball ever since.
EvilNoobHacker t1_j6aq50j wrote
Reply to [OT] SatChat: What inspired you to start writing more seriously? (New here? Introduce yourself!) by MajorParadox
Mostly just realizing that I liked taking it seriously. I didn’t initially write all too much, but a couple things came together. In 9th grade, my history class had us write essays, and I realized I liked it. Around the same time, I was introduced to DND, and after around a year of just being a player, I started DMing my own friend group. Eventually, I got bored of worldbuilding just one setting, and started writing on my own. I also got recommended r/writingprompts on here, which def helped. Essentially, I just sorta got into writing because of a couple random factors all at the right time. Started taking it more seriously over time, and here I am now.
EvilNoobHacker t1_j2d2169 wrote
Reply to comment by AutoModerator in [EU] as the first gym leader, you'd had enough of going easy on challengers only for them to brag and act tough afterwards. And so, for the upcoming gym season, you decided to make it harder with your best pokemon. Is it uncustomary? Probably. But is it breaking the rules? Only one way to find out. by nohopeforhumanity666
As has been already said, this is already a thing. Gym Leaders have multiple different teams depending on how many badges you have.
EvilNoobHacker t1_j2d1ylt wrote
EvilNoobHacker t1_j2c33qj wrote
Reply to comment by prejackpot in [PM] Give me two-ish characters and a romantic situation to write. by prejackpot
I fucking love it.
EvilNoobHacker t1_j29sbvh wrote
Two guys- each has a bit of a crush on each other- meet in a bar, and proceed to get rather drunk. Only problem? Both don’t know the other is gay, and think the other is homophobic.
EvilNoobHacker t1_j28vp86 wrote
Reply to comment by LordFluffy in [WP] You discover a singular arrow on the ground in February. Instead of an arrowhead tip, it has a heart tip. It's one of Cupid's arrows... and the magic is still in it for one use. by London-Roma-1980
This is so much more wholesome than where I thought it was going.
EvilNoobHacker t1_j28upww wrote
Reply to comment by HardcoreMandolinist in [WP] The Isekai Truck misses the intended target and hits a seventeen-hundred pound Grizzly Bear instead. by FalseWallaby9
Outside of general grammar and tense issues that are normally fixed with time-
The dialogue feels very natural. The way the characters are written feels a little cliche- I’ve seen this character dynamic used for comedy plenty of times before- but it’s well executed, and it doesn’t feel forced, so I like it.
The references to real world properties like Forgotten Realms is a nice touch.
The grizzly could have been played for a bit more comedy, I think. At least dead body humor. The humor comes less from the intrinsic zaniness of the situation and more from the character interactions between our POV character and his (probably high) partner in crime. Heck, I would have runs small gag where, in fact, the mama bear isn’t dead, just angry, because it’s a nearly 2 ton BEAR.
Outside of that, there really isn’t all too much to critique here. It doesn’t go too deeply into genre subversion, it doesn’t exactly throw the prompt in any wild directions, and it’s executed nicely enough. Those aren’t bad things- sometimes, popcorn reading is a little more fun than having to think.
Good Job. I honestly liked it, and it was a fun read.
EvilNoobHacker t1_j24304l wrote
Reply to comment by NotMuchChop in [WP] A young and talented wizard has suddenly lost his ability to use magic. While he panics his master just tells him to calm down and think about this question for a while: "What is magic?" As the young man ponders this question his eyes widen as a sudden realization comes to him. by Smart-A22
Loved how you wrote that accent. I could hear the teacher clearly. The prodigy was also immensely emotive, and I could hear just how cocky he was in his voice and the tone of the words. Really well done.
EvilNoobHacker t1_j23bwub wrote
Reply to comment by Lunetheart in [WP] You know one of your family members has been replaced by a lookalike. Your other family members even seem to ignore the inconsistencies in the fake’s behaviour. Fed up with the lies, you decide to confront the fraud when you have a moment alone. by Seabass9975
Oh. I like this one.
Mark is a good man.
EvilNoobHacker t1_j1z5td7 wrote
Reply to comment by Thainexylon in [PM] Give me a random book title or whatever words you mix into a title and I'll write a short summary for it. by Thainexylon
Oh no, I wanted to see the difference between them. I’m happy that it was different! Heck, I’m a writer myself, and “Goose Chase” as a name and concept alone for a short story gives me something that I can’t wait to write and share with my family and friends.
Thanks!
EvilNoobHacker t1_j1z4xcm wrote
Reply to comment by Thainexylon in [PM] Give me a random book title or whatever words you mix into a title and I'll write a short summary for it. by Thainexylon
The genre of cosmic horror has can easily be split into Lovecraftian Horror- horror that is inspired by the works of H.P. Lovecraft- and Modern Cosmic Horror- horror that is much more existential than it’s compatriot. One of the first papers I wrote in college was an argument of why we needed to officially recognize the growing split in subgenre between the two, and why recognizing the difference between the two would more accurately give readers an expectation of what they were in for.
I wanted to see what you did with the title, since I’ve already thoroughly analyzed the actual book that was written with it.
EvilNoobHacker t1_j1z4824 wrote
Reply to comment by Thainexylon in [PM] Give me a random book title or whatever words you mix into a title and I'll write a short summary for it. by Thainexylon
I wanted to see what you came up with, since I recently did a paper on the requirement to start renaming the cosmic horror genre, and What The Hell Did I Just Read was one of my examples of why we needed to redefine the genre.
EvilNoobHacker t1_j1u6ujo wrote
Reply to [PM] Give me a random book title or whatever words you mix into a title and I'll write a short summary for it. by Thainexylon
What The Hell Did I Just Read
EvilNoobHacker t1_je5u9w7 wrote
Reply to [OT] Writing humor, whether as just to lighten the mood of the current situation happening in the text or just as comedy. What has made you laugh that much that you had to pause the reading? by Aftel43
Most of the stuff I read here that makes me truly belt out with laughter is the stuff that's really absurd, the stuff that makes just enough sense to be related to the prompt, but outside of that, just makes for a hilarious image. The humor that I love the most is the jarring stuff, where you place people in a situation where their actions are just simply insane and weird, and takes me a hot minute to even figure out what's going on.