Well you did great on it here! Keep practicing and I'm sure you'll gain confidence in your ability soon :)

Good luck!

Amazing how his internal monologue changes and you know what happened before it's revealed - perfect example of show don't tell!

This was mesmerizing! It actually reminded me of Jeanette Winterson (and that's high praise from me, she's my favourite author!). It makes me want to cry. I feel so moved. Thank you for sharing this. I hope you have a lovely day.

Hey OP, I just want to say, what an amazing prompt. I love the idea so much. I probably won't have time to write and post something on it, but if I get the change, I'd love to try to write something at least for myself. Thank you!

Holy shit.

Okay, full honesty, you reawakened something in me. I'm not gonna lie, this made me actually cry. I'm standing at a bus stop at night, with tears in my eyes. So, good job I guess haha.

You actually made me want to start writing again. Your story made me feel the way writing used to make me feel a long time ago. So thank you for that. It's funny but I actually wrote something quite similar in nature a long time ago and this gave me a flashback.

To your actual story - there's probably no point pouring out words to try to describe it, it's simply beautiful. The idea, the execution. Then again, I always try to be very specific with my comments, so. This part in particular:

>Andrew wore his WWE cap and a shirt that was too baggy on him but that didn’t used to be. It wasn’t the way a twelve-year-old should be growing — he shouldn’t be deflating.

is excellent, it made me feel a lot. "Deflating"... great choice of words. So evocative. Originally, I thought it was just sort of metaphorical - not entirely, just that it was more about his mental state and hardships he went through manifesting physically, I guess. Which would have been great too.

Then there's this:

>I was maybe the only person that night not looking up. I hadn’t seen him smile much recently. Not the genuine type — just the brave plastic type he wore because he didn’t like to see me sad. So I didn’t look up.

Again, amazing. The image, the very clear thing it's conveying, you express so much without having to say it outright. I love this type of writing - a small, private scene where things are inferred and revealed gradually and subtly.

I adore the entire idea, even the fact that we don't actually learn what the wish really was - but the narrator's theory is just so beautiful to think about, and it doesn't matter whether it's true or not. The selflessness of it, and the image of a person just so mesmerized with the beauty to wish for something like this... very touching. And of course, the ending... powerful. Beautiful juxtaposition between the grand, almost all-encompassing wish and the way it feels insignificant to this parent whose life is turning upside down and who only really has one wish. Beautiful exploration of the things we value.

I know it's just a small story, but damn, you really touched something within me (clearly). I hope you keep writing. Have a beautiful day.