Most of my neighbors are retirees and I am so envious of them. Bought their houses many years ago so they are probably paid off. They stay inside all day unless the temperature is above 80. They get a regular box of food from the food bank and give us the leftovers. We are walking distance to a library and Rec center which they don’t use. Sometimes the man will put on a bunch of gold rings and a velvet tracksuit and drive somewhere. The wife has a friend who picks her up for yoga. They hate the birds that visit our bird feeder. They have the best life.

The scanner boyz listen to police radio for hours and hours from multiple jurisdictions and Tweet that “crime is out of control!!!” It’s like going to the hospital and going room by room and noticing that “everybody in DC is sick!!!”