Not at all, you're all good. I had meant I appreciated that you were saying that phrase could be said about me as well because it's true.
I feel the same about that phrase. I get it but I just think it can be an unfair statement sometimes

I appreciate this being said. The "if it means a lot to you, why wouldn't he do it for you" comment has been said to me by my friends as well. I know it's said with good intent but marriage is no small thing.
Marriage did mean a lot to me yes. And you should want to do anything for your partner (to an extent lol) if they mean that much to you, yes. But my bf shouldn't have to give up his beliefs either. It truly can be argued both ways which is why these conversations we've had around marriage has been hard. We are each valid in what we believe and feel

I'm glad that this was brought it because this is something I've been starting to ask myself when thinking about this. Whenever I've discussed this with my best friends, they have brought up tax benefits that come with marriage and how being married or not being married will be important in cases of medical emergencies, death, etc.

But if I am being honest with myself, those things didn't cross my mind when he said he didn't want marriage. What crossed my mind was the proposal, the wedding and the proud title of being his wife. So that's something I have been doing more internal navigating with as well. Ultimately, I just want a life with him.

I would never want to pressure someone into marriage. It's no small thing, I am completely aware of that. I know that a commitment ceremony is not something he would choose himself. So I am thankful that even though marriage is something he does not want, he is open to doing this for me.

A commitment ceremony is something we are both open to doing at some point. This is a new concept to me but I think it would still be a really great way to celebrate our love.
What to do in cases of medical emergencies and what not is a great point as well and one we've discussed. We are planning to also at some point document what each of us what done in the case of a medical emergency or someone passing. We acknowledge that is important to plan for if we won't legally be tied to one another.

The costs that go into weddings has been a piece of discussion we have had as well. I do agree that weddings are overly expensive.
A legal marriage is not something he wants but we've talked about this a few times now and he can see that this is hard for me and in turn is hard for him because he ultimately does want to make me happy. So he did say that as a compromise, he is willing to have a commitment ceremony. Not a wedding and we would not be husband and wife after but a ceremony where we could recite vows, celebrate our love and share the event with some of our loved ones. The fine details of this haven't been discussed (how this would be initiated, where, how many people invited, what would go into the ceremony, etc) but I am happy that he wants to do something to kind of meet me in the middle.
I like the idea of possibly still having rings. We haven't thought of that but I will bring that up.