Celadorkable

Celadorkable t1_irpov4m wrote

He's still young, and you now have awareness.

Its way better to realise this and be able to make changes or support him differently, than to realise it when he's an adult. Or not realise it at all.

My eldest has a lot of trouble with emotional regulation, attention and anxiety. I had OCD and PPD when I was pregnant and for a long time after he was born. After I got better I had his sister, and she's sensitive but doesn't have the same troubles as her brother. I totally understand how you feel knowing you may have contributed to his delays, it's such a tough feeling, especially when it's like the "damage is done".

But I promise it isn't. My mum had mental health issues throughout my childhood(she still does too), and my brother and I both have a lot of difficulties from that emotional roller coaster. She never sought help or addressed it. You and I have the advantage of awareness and willingness to do our best with help. Our kids will be much better off thanks to us trying every day. You've got this

(Also covid lockdown is not your fault at all, and lack of socialising was unavoidable then)

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Celadorkable t1_iroxodx wrote

Afaik there's no genetic test for adhd?

I'm only part way through "scattered minds", and it's just one theory, but it's pretty interesting so far. My takeaway is that some people are genetically predisposed to being "highly sensitive" (Elaine Aaron has written on this, she estimates 20% of the population is highly sensitive), and if a HSP is born into a stressful environment that can lead to adhd. I'm only up to the part explaining how babies with depressed caretakers are more stressed.

https://drgabormate.com/adhd/

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Celadorkable t1_iro3mtp wrote

About 10% of new fathers do develop symptoms of PPD

New parenthood is very isolating, most people don't have the support of a "village". We saw how stress, isolation and staying home affected people mentally during covid - having a new baby is much the same.

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Celadorkable t1_iro2o1f wrote

I absolutely think this is the case.

I'm currently reading "Scattered Minds" by Gabor Mate, which links having depressed caretakers in early life to the development of ADHD. If his theory is accurate, then the nuclear family structure and lack of social support would also explain rising rates of ADHD.

We're social animals, but we've created a world where individualism is the goal. It's hardly surprising that so many people are struggling mentally.

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