Maybe I'm reading this at a particularly bad period, but I moved here over 2 years ago b/c my partner is from here. He and SO MANY other people idolized Vermont so damn much I just assumed I'd be happier here than in any of the southern cities I've lived in, especially being a pretty liberal and outdoorsy person, but I am just not. I hate it here. For context, I've moved to two other places without knowing a soul, and within like 3-6 months I had plenty of friends. Even before that time, I had plenty of opportunities to make friends, go out, have fun, etc.
I've tried language classes, group sports, online meetups, board game groups, DnD groups, group bike rides, yoga, and just generally hanging out in town and talking to people, and had absolutely no success in TWO YEARS. I strike up conversations, we seem to make a connection, sometimes we even swap phone numbers and do a few stilted hangouts, but then fucking nothing and I watch their instagram feeds hanging with all the friends they've had for decades. I'm so lonely. I have my partner and that is it.
We really wanted to be integrated with the community. I bought a whole goddamn house and we have been renovating it completely on our own, because theres absolutely no contractors available, and that has sucked too. It's an overpriced old piece of shit that I can't even be proud of, but it's not like there were better options for housing here. Renting is outrageous, and all the houses are old and falling apart. Now I just want it gone. I'm ashamed I even own it when I see my friends' houses back in the south, so clean cut and nice looking. Everything in this stupid house is janky and you can't even do something simple like install a closet kit because the studs are in the wrong place.
During the nice months of the year, the saving grace is that I have so many outside opportunities, I love that. During the winter, skiing is fun, but it's expensive as hell and I can't afford to do it much. I can't find a therapist, I've emailed 60+ people and tried 2, who both sucked. Every single business I call doesn't answer the goddamn phone and closes at random ass times. If I need a nice work shirt last minute, day-of, for a work trip, I literally cannot find one. I've tried. "Our fitting rooms aren't open today". Cool. Guess I'll just fuck off then. It's dark and cold and ferociously windy all the fucking time. I invested in a ton of winter clothes, but I don't WANT to pile on 10 pounds of clothes to go for a lunch-time walk. My mental health is the worst it's ever been as an adult who escaped an abusive childhood.
It seems like this state is designed for and full of people who want to stay in their house, never talk to people, and go for walks occasionally. Maybe that'll be me when I'm 70, but it's not me now. Don't listen to the hype, only move here if you hate people, have no ambition in life, and never need modern amenities, fuck this place, I can't wait to leave.
Beneficial_Falcon395 t1_iyszkdy wrote
Reply to I miss Vermont so much by immersedinideas
Maybe I'm reading this at a particularly bad period, but I moved here over 2 years ago b/c my partner is from here. He and SO MANY other people idolized Vermont so damn much I just assumed I'd be happier here than in any of the southern cities I've lived in, especially being a pretty liberal and outdoorsy person, but I am just not. I hate it here. For context, I've moved to two other places without knowing a soul, and within like 3-6 months I had plenty of friends. Even before that time, I had plenty of opportunities to make friends, go out, have fun, etc.
I've tried language classes, group sports, online meetups, board game groups, DnD groups, group bike rides, yoga, and just generally hanging out in town and talking to people, and had absolutely no success in TWO YEARS. I strike up conversations, we seem to make a connection, sometimes we even swap phone numbers and do a few stilted hangouts, but then fucking nothing and I watch their instagram feeds hanging with all the friends they've had for decades. I'm so lonely. I have my partner and that is it.
We really wanted to be integrated with the community. I bought a whole goddamn house and we have been renovating it completely on our own, because theres absolutely no contractors available, and that has sucked too. It's an overpriced old piece of shit that I can't even be proud of, but it's not like there were better options for housing here. Renting is outrageous, and all the houses are old and falling apart. Now I just want it gone. I'm ashamed I even own it when I see my friends' houses back in the south, so clean cut and nice looking. Everything in this stupid house is janky and you can't even do something simple like install a closet kit because the studs are in the wrong place.
During the nice months of the year, the saving grace is that I have so many outside opportunities, I love that. During the winter, skiing is fun, but it's expensive as hell and I can't afford to do it much. I can't find a therapist, I've emailed 60+ people and tried 2, who both sucked. Every single business I call doesn't answer the goddamn phone and closes at random ass times. If I need a nice work shirt last minute, day-of, for a work trip, I literally cannot find one. I've tried. "Our fitting rooms aren't open today". Cool. Guess I'll just fuck off then. It's dark and cold and ferociously windy all the fucking time. I invested in a ton of winter clothes, but I don't WANT to pile on 10 pounds of clothes to go for a lunch-time walk. My mental health is the worst it's ever been as an adult who escaped an abusive childhood.
It seems like this state is designed for and full of people who want to stay in their house, never talk to people, and go for walks occasionally. Maybe that'll be me when I'm 70, but it's not me now. Don't listen to the hype, only move here if you hate people, have no ambition in life, and never need modern amenities, fuck this place, I can't wait to leave.