During market day, a wagon's axle breaks and it loses its wheel, setting off a chain of events that culminates in a large scale riot (or at least a pie fight).
 
The challenge: Except for the first sentence and the last sentence, use only spoken dialogue and onomatopoeia (written sound effects).
e.g.:
Rrrrumble...
"Oh heck, get out of the way!"
rumble rumble RUMBLE CRAAASH!! "Mooo-OOO!"

I blinked slowly, trying to mentally parse the sudden interruption to whatever I was doing, "Uh...what?" I asked.
The man in red robes bowed, "You are a self-insert, my lord. The incarnation of the author of this, um, post."
I blinked slowly, again. "Um, yeah? I mean, that's true, but why are you breaking the fourth wall?"
The red-cloaked man turned to look at you, the reader. And me, I suppose, since I'm still writing this. Me as in the one writing this, not the me as in first-person perspective-
"The prompt, please?" I interrupted myself, "What's this got to do with being the incarnation of an eldritch god?"
"Well, you already know since you're the one writing my dialogue." the red-cloaked man Mr. Reddy pre-faced his explanation, looking at you/me again, "The prompt is for an incarnation of an eldritch god, what could possibly be more eldritch than the existence of the author in relation to the fictional world they write? A being utterly beyond our ability to truly observe, yet can look upon our world and make whatever changes they desire, to whomever they desire, unbound by time or by space."
I paused to contemplate that, before looking at you/me, "I wonder if anyone's thought of God in that way before. In real life, I mean."
 
After a few seconds of contemplating that accidental bout of theology, I (the one in the prompt) started to fidget.
"So what now?" I asked, "Did you just approach me to tell me that I'm a self-insert and to make fun of the prompt?"
"Well...actually, I don't know." Mr. Reddy answered, "The author didn't really think past this point. I mean..." he trailed off, then trailed off to let me say what I (the author) was thinking. That is, to put it in the mouth of my SI rather than Mr. Reddy.
My eyes flicked up at the above sentence, before he cleared his throat, "So, I could ask if this is a scenario like that Rosencrantz And Guildernstern Are Dead book, or that Redshirts one, questioning if we as fictional characters exist before and after the written narrative..."
"Buuut...?" Mr. Reddy asked leadingly.
"But I'd rather be dragons. Do you want to be dragons?"
"I'm being written by the author, of course I want to be dragon!"
And then Mr. Reddy and I were both dragons. Medium-sized domesticated variety, not huge hoarding city-destroying variety. Much nuzzling and cuddling was had.
And that is the end of this piece of writing. If this world continues to exist beyond what is written, it's a world much like our Earth, but with plentiful dragons roaming around who just want love and attention. A positive note to leave things on, for sure.

The Mutiny of Aran:
The first widely reported battle of the Grand War, despite attempts to censor it, the Mutiny of Aran kicked off in the town of Aran when the invading Second division refused to attack and formed an unsanctioned truce with the Primary defenders.
Both sides refused orders from higher-ups to fight, and in fact turned on their own artillery units and officers who attempted to re-initiate hostilities.
 
How did the mutiny end? What consequences did this have for both sides of the war? How did the Second and Primary governments adjust their war doctrine to address the greatly increased threat of defections and rebellions? Did anyone win the war in the end, or did both countries destabilise?

Snrk!
So short, yet so hilarious. This should be a prompt in its own right, actually. A brave group of firefighters take on the task of extinguishing Hell.

Leighton de Fuse, of Dynamite Court, Grenade St, Boomsville.

'God' proceeds to sing the whole litany of sins, in Gilbert & Sullivan patter song style.
You took my name in vain, you pigged out on champagne, you spam the chat in TF2 and play Spy as your main.~♪