AcrobaticSource3 t1_jegwyjh wrote on March 31, 2023 at 10:53 PM

ROOKIE MISTAKE! You’re supposed to take a long/wrong way home to misdirect them in case they send someone after you, chasing you for that pack of Oreos

AcrobaticSource3 t1_je60me6 wrote on March 29, 2023 at 5:39 PM

Reply to TIFU by using TikTok by SwampWitchBrew

> took a piss on camera

You innocent, innocent person...if you read enough of these TIFUs, you know it could have been far worse! I’m talking diarrhea, farting, talking yourself through constipation like it’s childbirth...be happy it was only a piss

AcrobaticSource3 t1_je2oz9k wrote on March 28, 2023 at 11:43 PM

Reply to TIFU by getting my dick stuck in a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse toy by CameInsideWasntFun

After all that genital pain, OP’s voice probably was as high as Mickey Mouse’s

AcrobaticSource3 t1_je2oqxm wrote on March 28, 2023 at 11:41 PM

Reply to TIFU when I spoke to the surgical planner by sugarintheboots

> Got surgery date

That was just practice for getting the romantic date

AcrobaticSource3 t1_je2oftk wrote on March 28, 2023 at 11:39 PM

Reply to TIFU by vomiting on the gym floor by Acceptable_Row_1560

Go back to the gym! If people remember you, then they will stay away and you will have a large area to yourself!

AcrobaticSource3 t1_je2nyrr wrote on March 28, 2023 at 11:36 PM

Reply to TIFU - lost 93k point from downgrading my Amex platinum to gold by [deleted]

Wow, you are rich, but are you single?

AcrobaticSource3 t1_je2ntyt wrote on March 28, 2023 at 11:35 PM

Reply to comment by skumgummii in TIFU by not taking a taxi by skumgummii

ACK! You gotta pay cat tax, but you can keep your ankle tax!

AcrobaticSource3 t1_je15jrv wrote on March 28, 2023 at 5:42 PM

Reply to TIFU by leaving my house by dude24760

Why didn’t you use your Gryffindor magic to help the guy who fell off the bicycle?

AcrobaticSource3 t1_je1572g wrote on March 28, 2023 at 5:40 PM

Reply to comment by AustinLVII in TIFU by accidentally giving my nephew a book about a little girl killing her family members by AustinLVII

I like that book!

AcrobaticSource3 t1_je14wmv wrote on March 28, 2023 at 5:38 PM

Reply to TIFU by falling in love with a colleague by [deleted]

So he left his long term girlfriend and now wants a permanent threesome

AcrobaticSource3 t1_je14i4k wrote on March 28, 2023 at 5:36 PM

Reply to TIFU by letting my friend have sex with my crush in my parents bedroom. by [deleted]

Update this post in December to “TIFU by letting my crush’s baby be conceived in my parents bedroom”

AcrobaticSource3 t1_jdyf0xh wrote on March 28, 2023 at 2:25 AM

Reply to TIFU by getting too invested into my phone and forgetting to lock the bathroom door by PrimaryPeace78

Next time this happens immediately turn around and without even pulling up your pants run after your manager to show him that you are flaccid and therefore it is evidence that you were not in the middle of a jerk session. Then, to prove that you didn’t just finish and are now in your refractory period, get hard. Your manager will appreciate your honesty

AcrobaticSource3 t1_jdyc1tz wrote on March 28, 2023 at 2:06 AM

Reply to TIFU by peeing in my wife’s mouth. by [deleted]

> very sexually active, like 10x a week

Holy shit, your a stallion and your wife mustn’t have walls of steel

AcrobaticSource3 t1_jdybtr8 wrote on March 28, 2023 at 2:04 AM

Reply to TIFU by telling a guy I always check him out by myotheracct_is7yo

It will be hilarious when he goes to the pharmacy next and in addition to his prescriptions, he buys extra large condoms then asks if you want to go for coffee after your shift

AcrobaticSource3 t1_jdyb3gc wrote on March 28, 2023 at 1:59 AM

Reply to TIFU by Accidentally Sharing My Screen During a Video Call by CuriousMindWanderer

Why did you share your desktop instead of sharing the specific document alone?

AcrobaticSource3 t1_jdyam0l wrote on March 28, 2023 at 1:55 AM

Reply to TIFU by doing the chicken dance. by [deleted]

Which chicken dance did you do? There are so many: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=APWXorE6h8U