Those sound like the words of someone who's never demonstrated science experiments to a bunch of schoolchildren.

Glad someone else found my silly little piece of writing funny :)

Aww thank you :D

Thanks! I'm glad you thought the emotions came through well, I was worried that I was pushing it a bit much at points.

Ah yep the reddit comment editor and I have a longstanding enmity, thanks for letting me know - I've fixed it.

Thank you!! I can't seem to deal with reddit editing haha, have fixed that, thanks for letting me know.

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

A year had passed, and it was, once again, time for the annual dinner with Giorgia's family. Meiling always enjoyed these get-togethers - her own extended family lived all the way across the globe, so meeting up with them was much rarer than she'd have liked. And with more and more people preferring small, nuclear families nowadays, she had lucked out with her wife's huge family. And the Mancinis valued togetherness so much, too: it was always 'Family this, Family that' with them - why, it felt just like home!

But back to the get-together, ah, Meiling thought as she carefully wrapped tin foil over the dish she'd cooked for the dinner. The Mancinis rarely met up all at once - it seemed like a family tradition to never stick to a predictable routine, something that Meiling's wife had inherited in full, from never becoming a regular at shops or restaurants to randomly switching up the route she took to work every day. Such an adventurous life! Meiling could respect that - change was good for the brain; it kept your neurons firing. She'd even begun picking up the habit herself at Giorgia's insistence - her wife was so caring, making sure she stayed mentally healthy!

And speaking of the devil, in Giorgia walked in her designer clothes and doubly designer briefcase.

"Ready to go, cara mia?"

Aiya, so stylish and professional, this wife of hers! Never going anywhere without that briefcase. One would think she's married to her work if she wasn't such a kind, considerate partner all the time. Regardless, Meiling quickly picked up the dish and went to tug on her shoes before they left.

The couple only got a block away from their house, though, before they were stopped by a few towering figures in their path.

"Well, well, if it isn't Giorgia Mancini. What a coincidence! We haven't seen each other in so long - if I didn't know better, I'd think you were avoiding us!"

Giorgia's hand tightened around Meiling's. Ah, one of her little romantic gestures - Meiling squeezed back with a smile.

"Are these friends of yours from work, Giorgia? Tch, you never introduce me to any of your colleagues, how am I supposed to recognise them?"

"You're not." Giorgia gritted out.

Meiling sighed. Aiyo, no, that sounds so rude! What will your poor coworkers think? Really, Giorgia would accidentally hurt someone with that attitude - they didn't know what a sweet person she really was under the sharp, fashionable exterior.

"Ah, this must be the infamous wife. She has a point, why don't you introduce her? She should join our... conversation."

Saying this, all four of Giorgia's colleagues hands drifted to their belt. Huh, thought Meiling. People seemed to do that a lot around her nowadays - were loose pants in fashion or something?

"Ms. Mancini - you see, I've had a hypothetical scenario in my mind recently," the one in the middle began again, with his eyes fixed on Meiling. Was he talking to her or her wife? Meiling hadn't taken the Mancini family name, despite the many offers from her wife's family before Giorgia cut them off with a look, but others could be forgiven for getting it wrong.

"Now, hypothetically, if I knew where someone's house was, knew where they and their civilian wife lived, if I could - hypothetically, of course - walk in when I knew they were out, go into that kitchen where their wife who so loves cooking would be, pick up a kitchen knife..." The man prowled forward, razor-sharp smile bared, as Giorgia's grip became bruising.

"I wonder how long I could make them bleed out for?"

Meiling grinned. Finally, something she knew in this conversation! She loved trying to break down the science of hypothetical scenarios from books, it was a little hobby of hers. And Giorgia had never introduced her to such a like mind? How rude! Her wife knew she wasn't the best at social situations, so that made people interested in the same things as her all the more valuable!

"Ooh, well, let's see, it really depends on how you'd go about it. Quickest I'd say would be decapitation, just chopping their head off clean and simple - or maybe a cut to their femoral artery - or actually, it'd take a bit more effort but torn limbs would result in bleeding out quicker than clean wounds - no vasoconstriction, you know. On the opposite end of the spectrum, you have Lingchi-style 'death by a thousand cuts', to draw on a historical example...

...and really, you would have a better success at targetting a specific bleeding rate if you have good control over as many control variables as possible, na, so picking up someone's kitchen knife when you don't know how sharp it would be is quite inefficient.

You're from South-East of here, right? I know a really nice shop nearby that you could go to - hypothetically, of course - how do I know where you're from? I recognise that dialect, and I know I saw that ring on your necklace at a shop nearby from when Giorgia and I were visiting - oh, no need to look so surprised, ah, it was a very nice piece and I have very good memory that's all, and I love looking at jewellery shops, Giorgia indulges me too much - aiyo, no, why are you hiding it? Is it a wedding ring? Don't shame your partner like that - in fact, you were talking about introductions, no, we should have a get-together, it's been a while since Giorgia and I have been to the South-East, we could visit - I'd even bring my cooking, and wine too, I know how much you Italians love your wine!

Oh no, why are you looking so pale? Are you ill? This weather ah, makes everyone ill, I could get you some medicine-"

Meiling cut off with a laugh of delight. It was so rare to find someone to discuss obscure tidbits of science and logical reasoning with in real life. And, she thought, looking over at Giorgia's friend's wide eyes and slightly dropped jaw, it was even rarer to find someone so interested in what she had to say - most people just rolled their eyes or turned away within the first few seconds.

"Ms Mancini- We- I understand, Senora, we'll just- "

The men hurried away, significantly paler looking than before. Huh, Meiling wondered, did they come down with a sudden bout of illness all together? Stomach upset, maybe - is that why they were holding their pants like that earlier? Well, she could always make dinner plans with them later through Giorgia, when she wasn't running late to a family dinner. She shrugged, turning back to Giorgia, who now looked like she was holding back a laugh.

"Oh, Meiling, cara mia. Never change."