ARandomPileOfCats

ARandomPileOfCats t1_j9m1ur8 wrote

[6666] Pearly Gates Lock: Incredible but flawed precision.

"Much as I suspected, I have been informed that all the time I spent filling my wife's beaver and playing with my 18-inch long Johnson resulted in my eternal damnation. Unfortunately but unsurprisingly, it seems that all of the gates of Hell are sealed with Master Locks, so after several eternities of crawling through lakes of fire and brimstone I have arrived at what appears to finally be a lock that seems to be worth my time.

This challenge lock has apparently been sent to me by an anonymous viewer known only by the name of Peter. Oddly enough, it arrived attached to a set of pearly gates, and there seems to be some indescribably glorious reward behind them, which I hope is chocolate since it has been countless lifetimes since I have been able to find any in the godforsaken wasteland I have been consigned to. I am unable to identify a brand on this particular lock, but whoever made this lock does not appear to have skimped on the materials, as the outer shell appears to be made out of gold.

I cannot tell exactly what materials the lock is made out of, but in many previous videos I have already covered in great detail the low-skill attacks that can be executed against such soft materials, so in the interest of avoiding unnecessary smiting I will refer you to those videos. In the meantime, this particular lock seems to be of curious workmanship, and as far as I can tell has been made with the utmost precision. I cannot identify the core, but nonetheless it does appear that it should be susceptible to the Covert Companion that me and the damned soul of BosnianBill were able to forge out of a smuggled demonic sword from the fires of Hell.

For this particular lock I'm going to use my 0.0032" thick turner with bottom of the keyway tension and a hook for single-pin picking, as this particular lock does not appear to be susceptible to the wave rake. I am also expecting to see many security pins in this lock.

Nothing on 1, 2 is binding, click out of 3, nothing on 4 or 5, 6 is binding, so let's go back. Click out of 1, nothing on 2, 3 seems to be in a false set and seems to be a spool pin. Getting some counterrotation on 4... And a nice click. Still nothing on 5, but 6 seems to be set. Going back to 3... And we got this open.

Okay folks, it may be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter Heaven, but it seems that for only $90 plus shipping and handling on covertinstruments.com you too may be able to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. Unfortunately I am unable to disassemble this lock as it seems to have somehow been designed without the use of any fasteners, and also because I am in a bit of a hurry, as there appear to be several demonic hordes following me. That said, in spite of the inexcusably poor security in Hell, I still cannot recommend escaping eternal damnation as a means to enter into Heaven.

In any case, that's all I have for you this eternity, if you do have any comments, please pray them down below, and as always, thanks for watching, have a nice day."

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