My post above describes exactly that. I’m an ICU RN as well and I shudder at every 90+ patient I get when it’s clear they’ve been declining for a very long time and they are “full codes.” And the family just can’t shut up about how Mom or Dad is gonna be right as rain in no time. Or acting as if a potassium/BUN/Cr level normalizing is gonna be the moment they’re back to their old selves. Like at what point will they realize that old age is the one illness none of us can survive?

I see where you’re coming from bc many doctors and hospitals benefit directly from continued treatments in prolonging illness as opposed to curing it (bringing it to an end.) But as a nurse, I mainly see patients’ families being the reason people are either not passing peacefully at home or ultimately drawing treatment out to the point that they choose hospice at the very last minute. I see so many people in their 90’s being “full codes” (wanting all life-saving measures taken in the event of their heart stopping or they quit breathing.) And these patients didn’t just turn 96, having been active in their community and at home, and then overnight they became sick. You find out they’ve been on a steep decline for some time and it’s worse when you discover they live in a facility of some kind. I’m baffled at how many family members just refuse to acknowledge the elephant in the room and you have to bear witness to their sad and pitiful withering away. They don’t eat, they don’t get out of bed, sometimes there are bed sores, and the amount of medications they are on is insane. It’s not “pointless” in keeping some of these patients alive longer than necessary. But the refusal to accept the inevitable is astounding. No one wants to lose a loved one. But all it takes is some therapy and some introspection to set one’s feelings aside and focus on the quality/quantity of life left for their loved one.