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BigManScaramouche t1_je4opgy wrote

Putin every few days: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in KGB, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Pro-democratic activists, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire Russian Armed Forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the World and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire nuclear arsenal of the Russian Federation and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

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phlogistonical t1_je4szb1 wrote

This ready like something trump could have said, except with more swearing and longer

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BGAL7090 t1_je4zekt wrote

This is far more coherent than anything that dribbled out of his mouth

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_000001_ t1_je5i0lj wrote

What you're saying is that Putin is actually just a(n overly) sensitive little soul, right?

(Mmm, which is a little worrying, because I've just remembered: that's exactly how my girlfriend described herself to me... Maybe time to sleep with one eye open, I think.)

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