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technicalCoFounder t1_j9sykpy wrote

It’s really hard interacting with Ukrainians right now. The first question I’m asked is whether I support their enemy. Then we have to preamble for a while about the war and I have to pass a series of tests to confirm I’m not their enemy too. It’s exhausting.

I get it: when you’re in a war that’s the only possible thing there is. Nothing else really exists until “after”.

You can easily tell how much it has affected their social interactions outside their country and outside their culture.

This was well studied in Dutch kids after WW2. Having been born to stressed mothers during the war or having grown up themselves during the war their entire epigenetic makeup, not to mention their mental health, was permanently skewed to a “fight or flight”, “feast or famine” war-footing.

Heck that’s probably the natural state of all humans. We’ve been fighting wars with each other for as long as we’ve existed. Every person alive today was born to those who happened to survive one war or another.

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poofanity t1_j9t32gm wrote

I’ve had a different experience but everyone’s experiences are different.

My Ukrainian born friend with family still in Kyiv, doesn’t really ever bring it up unless we do. His cousin (female and daughter) are here while their husband is fighting in ukraine. He still doesn’t really talk about it.

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SERN-contractor837 t1_j9vfjkc wrote

I'm about the same, I never talk about it with people who are not living here (apart from reddit obv). They'll never understand and it's hard to explain your state without either sounding like a dick or a whiny bitch.

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technicalCoFounder t1_j9t3r9j wrote

Ukrainian-born and Ukrainian “from Ukraine“ are very different things.

I’m also not “from” where I was born. Their mentality is almost alien to me, even though intellectually I can still understand it.

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poofanity t1_j9t3x8a wrote

Prewar he would spend months out of the year there every year.

He’s Ukrainian.

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technicalCoFounder t1_j9t44qt wrote

He may be Ukrainian, but is he “from Ukraine” or is he from wherever you’re from.

The human brain is plastic. We adopt the culture we integrate into, and very quickly at that.

I’m a person of several cultures, but I’m only “from” the one I fully integrated into, and it’s not the one I was born into.

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poofanity t1_j9t49c0 wrote

You’re completely wrong but okay.

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technicalCoFounder t1_j9t4j2l wrote

Ask your friend. When he’s in Ukraine, standing in line at the bank, does he feel like he’s from Ukraine?

I know when I stand in line at the bank in my birthplace, even though I speak the language and know the culture well, I feel quite alien there relative to the other people standing in line with me.

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bungdilly_ t1_j9tozm9 wrote

My grandpa almost killed a kid with a 2x4 for stealing bread from his younger brother during the war.

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Vlaladim t1_j9w96zi wrote

Knowing how much Russian like to antagonize and put all the death and rape of their fellow country men on their hand, Ukrainians of course would be doubtful of anyone at this time. Knowing how impeded the Russian talking point is and how lousy is still is, it just precaution for the time being but really, a country in a war always have this attitude especially how heinous and apathetic their enemies have done over the last year. I can’t blame them.

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