NYC is if you want the hustle/struggle vibe. 80k won’t get you far especially if you want to live in the city and have a life out.

DC is a good midpoint of the big city and suburbia and much smaller in size and a bit cheaper.

Do you have hobbies? Probably the easiest way to make friends is through that. Or circuit party cliques if you’re into that.

DC gay population skews predominantly white. Dating will suck if you’re not lol. NYC population is extremely dense, IE the last tile on your grindr grid will be <500ft away lol.