I admire your gumption, but club game is hard mode.

Easy mode is daytime / early evening bookstore, coffee shop, public areas like parks.

I'd rather be approached by one guy at a time than a pack of dudes looking to score. Decreases the rapey vibe.

I'm too ugly for daygame lol

How old are you?

Yeah but most people who enter a nightclub in dc enter with their friends, not alone

I scanned your profile.

You're too nice.

Never compliment a woman unless she's done something to deserve it.

Always switch to text to make plans. Text is more real. Only use the text for quick messages and "meetup" planning. Never call it a date. Never start with food unless it's something unusual / special.

You need more pics with friends.

Hook up with the local (your ancestral country) community (e.g., Eritrean) to meet people.

The path to getting laid is to not want to get laid, and to express that desire. "Hey, about tonight -- I don't want to hook up, just get to know you. "

Respect the hustle. If it was 4 years ago and I didn’t have a wife and kid I would be all about this. Good luck my man

If you’re not attractive enough to “get girls” from using dating apps you’re not going to be successful at bars/clubs either with or without friends.

What up! We're three cool guys looking for other cool guys who want to hang out in our party mansion.

I recently watched this episode. I'm happy to be a fan of the show

Have you seen the Tao of Steve? There seems to be some overlap in your philosophy, especially the last point.

23

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Let me impart some wisdom from someone who was once 23 … nobody meets a “girlfriend” at bars or clubs. I’m not saying it’s never happened, but that’s where you go to meet a special lady friend for a short tryst.

If you want a girlfriend just get out there and be social in environments where there are women your age with similar interests. You’ll find someone. You are very young.

That profile is a WILD ride 👀

I would wager its super obvious you're being pandered to

Gross

Okay, what's gross about it?

All of it. You sound like you don’t have any game or much experience with women. Also he’s posted that he’s Ethiopian.

Sounds like your problem, not mine. Eritrean was just a guess. Ethnically the same, politically different.

Do you wait three days before calling your babies, even if they’re money?

No, I don't wait at all. I make plans.

This may seem harsh but I looked at your profile and clearly this ain’t the solution.

Maybe start by finding some actual friends before worrying about a gf? Social skills never go out of style and it sounds like maybe you need some practice.

Honestly, having to scrounge internet randos to pretend to be your friends because you don’t have ANY male friends to hit the clubs with is a massive red flag. Any good relationship will start with authenticity.

Ignorant and lame, similar to your juvenile pickup artist techniques

He's like a bear with these razor sharp claws and he's just batting the bunny around asking himself, "How do I kill the bunny with these claws, man?!"

You're def a virgin

I think better advice would be to start hanging out with women groups as friends so you know how to behave around them and see them as people not just things to hit on. If you knew how to socialize better with women you wouldn’t be in this situation. This is not me being rude at all I just think we aren’t trained on how to be friends to each other so we get awkward dating because we are missing certain boundary things. Other guys can’t help you pick up women. The masculinity is just gonna make you feel more empowered but not necessarily increase your chances. I’d rather one guy approach me respectfully than him coming with a pack of friends. That would make me feel like you are tryna intimidate me.

Also every woman I know isn’t thinking she’s gonna find her future husband in the club. They are probably also looking for hook ups so your best bet also is to try a different venue to met people. Preferably one where drinking and dancing isn’t the focus but your interest or hobbies are.

Hi, uh, Nikki, this is Kyle. I met you at the, um, at Looking Glass tonight. I just called to say that I had a great time… and you should call me tomorrow, or in two days, whatever. Anyway, my number is 202–555–4679

I looks at your profile and you start talking about cuddling and sex too soon on the apps. Women like it when you try to get to know them As people. If you ask to cuddle or to go to their house for a first date it’s creepy. Join Hinge or Bumble and try to get to know women as fellow humans not a piece of meet.

I'm not the person insulting strangers online. Good luck.

No not direct insults, just sexist and toxic generally. The downvotes indicate I’m onto something. Enjoy that

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This sounds pretty desperate. Maybe work on you first.

Why not ask your friends to join you?, Instead of seeking out strangers to pretend to be your friends?

Is this a parody?

100% yes.

The Bro's Guide to How to be a Douche in 5 Easy Steps

my man... Even if you manage to succeed with this plan, she's not going to stick with you when she realizes you don't have friends. Work on that first and the rest will follow. If you need advice making friends here, that's a different convo and people here can help.

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