This guy's been around since I was a kid. In 1992 he took over Carson's show. I've given him countless opportunities. Watched so many monologues. Waiting. I mean, they gave him the fucking tonight show. I'd seen interviews with other comedians, referring to how funny he was. Jay fucking Leno.

3 decades later. He's never once made me laugh. I don't get it. I feel like I've lived my life in a twilight zone episode or something. They used to say, 'he appeals more to Johnny's older demographic', and that made sense for a while. And while he's doing setups and punchlines, and I recognize that the formula is there for 'joke', I've just never once laughed at a single quip or anything he's ever said. I mean 'flaming hot dorito'? WTF?

I used to think, 'here's a guy who's just been watered down to appeal to major audiences'. But he's rich as fuck by now. Does his little car show for fun probably. He doesn't need to be Pepsi. But he still isn't funny. He never takes a chance. Never goes for it. 3 fucking decades of Jay Leno. How has he stayed on top? It doesn't make sense. WTF does he or has he ever contributed to entertainment? Why is this the guy? Did the station sign him to the tonight show deal for a 20 year contract that was unbreakable? How can mediocrity be rewarded so fervently and for so long? It just doesn't make sense. I've seen old clips of his old standup too. He wasn't funny before his big break either.

It's like his giant, Rocky Dennis fucking face is some kind of good luck charm.