I got sprayed by a skunk at like 4 AM while I was taking out my trash before work. I was a paramedic still at the time, so I called my dispatch to call out. The company I worked for was famously understaffed due to being cheap, so they threw a fit when I told them I couldn't work.

Now I live in the city, but I grew up in a salt marsh and still spend the overwhelming majority of weekends up in the hills in my cabin. I could not explain to this rude piece of shit that "the smell doesn't just go away if I shower and change my uniform. I probably won't even be able to come in the next day or two.

He didn't listen to me. So I said fuck it, conceded, went right to work, hopped on my ambulance, and was sent right the fuck home because I smelled so bad.

You all know I hunt and trap. But what the fuck do I know about being sprayed by a skunk.