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numetalbeatsjazz t1_ivyama0 wrote

Reply to comment by Jaynie_ in Vermont ranked 2nd most stressed state in the country: New study reveals by Carolff1

Which is funny, I feel the opposite. I moved here from a congested suburb where I felt like a faceless drone. I moved here 10 years ago first to a town of 1000 and now to a town of 200. While I see plenty of drawbacks to living in a town this small, I definitely feel like a valued member of the community. It helps that I worked at a local hardware store where I got to know damn near everyone. That , coupled with getting involved in my local government and I feel like I have way more connections now. I also feel like making friends has some how been easier. I feel having such a smaller pool of people makes it easier to make a lasting connection. Like when I lived in the burbs, people who shared my ideals and interests were a dime a dozen. Not so much here. So when i meet some one, we become fast friends due to the shear lack of likeminded people.

Granted, I was in my mid 20s before and living mainly for myself and was hardly politically involved. I think age plays a good part, but the smaller, tight knit communities can't be ignored either.

Not invalidating your feelings at all, just sharing my own experience.

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Jaynie_ t1_ivyhlx0 wrote

thanks for clarifying that you're not invalidating my feelings. My experience and feelings are real. I'm not getting into all the details but there are details. I'm not friendless and alone, but I am queer and forming a very small community has taken many years and even still, we all want more people to add into the community. It can happen but as a single mom working 50 hours a week, its also not really feasible for me to lead the program of making it happen.

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burke_no_sleeps t1_ivymb70 wrote

Oof I hear you on that one. Queer small town life is hard enough - add parenting on top of it and socialization seems like a faraway dream.

I'm glad you have a small community, and as your kids get bigger you'll be able to find more time for yourself! You'll get there, even in a tiny town.

I recommend the site "meetme" for finding get-togethers, online or in person, so you can meet new people. I started using it during the pandemic to fend off isolation and I've met a couple of cool folks. Good luck! Be patient!

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