Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

Jaynie_ t1_ivy4bed wrote

I’m stressed because there aren’t enough people here to build connections. Community matters

23

greenmtnfiddler t1_ivyawab wrote

Huh? There are multiple connected communities in my area: sports leagues, library, land conservation commission, fire/emt crew, open mic, literacy volunteers, meals-on-wheels, choral societies, garage bands, community orchestras, skate park, town band, MTG/gamers groups, parents-of-preschoolers. Where are you living that it's too sparse to have any of these? Even in the NEK there are options if you look. Granted that transportation is a huge issue, you have to have a car to get to all of these, but that's true for the whole northeast.

10

dropkickninja t1_ivyik5h wrote

I bet Norton doesnt have a whole lot of community events going on.

im pretty sure they all go to canada. canaan is the closest vermont town and.... its canaan.

that said it is a nice area. lots of moose.

8

Jaynie_ t1_ivygyua wrote

There are a few. I'm in the upper valley

0

ProLicks t1_ivyi2gb wrote

I grew up in Brattleboro, went to school at UVM, and then moved to Addison County, but part of the staff that I help to manage for work now is down in White River Junction...and that place is just different, for better and for worse.

If relocation is a possibility for you, moving close to Chittenden County can often strike the balance between job availiability, social life, and affordability - provided you don't mind driving 30-45 minutes to work every day. For a small state, Vermont is incredibly regional, and the next town over can sometimes feel a world away. Take advantage of that, if you can.

Regardless, good luck finding your tribe and some sense of place - we all deserve that.

5

numetalbeatsjazz t1_ivyama0 wrote

Which is funny, I feel the opposite. I moved here from a congested suburb where I felt like a faceless drone. I moved here 10 years ago first to a town of 1000 and now to a town of 200. While I see plenty of drawbacks to living in a town this small, I definitely feel like a valued member of the community. It helps that I worked at a local hardware store where I got to know damn near everyone. That , coupled with getting involved in my local government and I feel like I have way more connections now. I also feel like making friends has some how been easier. I feel having such a smaller pool of people makes it easier to make a lasting connection. Like when I lived in the burbs, people who shared my ideals and interests were a dime a dozen. Not so much here. So when i meet some one, we become fast friends due to the shear lack of likeminded people.

Granted, I was in my mid 20s before and living mainly for myself and was hardly politically involved. I think age plays a good part, but the smaller, tight knit communities can't be ignored either.

Not invalidating your feelings at all, just sharing my own experience.

9

Jaynie_ t1_ivyhlx0 wrote

thanks for clarifying that you're not invalidating my feelings. My experience and feelings are real. I'm not getting into all the details but there are details. I'm not friendless and alone, but I am queer and forming a very small community has taken many years and even still, we all want more people to add into the community. It can happen but as a single mom working 50 hours a week, its also not really feasible for me to lead the program of making it happen.

3

burke_no_sleeps t1_ivymb70 wrote

Oof I hear you on that one. Queer small town life is hard enough - add parenting on top of it and socialization seems like a faraway dream.

I'm glad you have a small community, and as your kids get bigger you'll be able to find more time for yourself! You'll get there, even in a tiny town.

I recommend the site "meetme" for finding get-togethers, online or in person, so you can meet new people. I started using it during the pandemic to fend off isolation and I've met a couple of cool folks. Good luck! Be patient!

5

swordsman917 t1_ivy4zg5 wrote

Between that and cost of living…

6

Jaynie_ t1_ivy51p3 wrote

Yes cost of living is a huge part too

4

sonnylarson t1_ivy9a8h wrote

Cost of living would be fine if you could just build a good community around it… but more and more it feels like we are getting what we paid for

−1

swordsman917 t1_ivy9tzj wrote

That’s just untrue. When you can’t afford to heat your home, it doesn’t matter how your neighbors are doing.

5

Syncope7 t1_ivycaon wrote

Move to Boston then, seriously. There is an excellent community there. Not everyone desires a large, tightly knit community. Some thrive on having a few friends and mostly solitude.

0