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wolf_boi_ t1_iu29gsg wrote

My whole house has anti ninja floors.

1,414

itchy_008 t1_iu29u9t wrote

...better known as nightingale flooring... there's one at Nijyo Castle ruins in Kyoto.

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ziggycoco385 t1_iu2acw0 wrote

Read "Across the Nightingale Floor"

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yParticle t1_iu2alxg wrote

Favorites of upstairs neighbors everywhere!

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8cuban t1_iu2b3uj wrote

As described by Sir Terry Pratchett in his Discworld novel “Interesting Times”. He takes the idea to the next step of genius when his wizards tuned the floorboards so they would know exactly where in the room a creeping assassin was, as in-

Squeak!

“Hmmm…C Sharp. Up against the wall, half way between the wardrobe and the fireplace.”

471

coyote-1 t1_iu2bxf3 wrote

As has been the case across the globe for centuries. It sucks to have squeaky floors; it sucks more to have no warning of the intruder coming to commit mayhem.

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I_Mix_Stuff t1_iu2c0aj wrote

won't work, should had installed anti ninja walls and ceiling

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blu-gold t1_iu2ebys wrote

Gonna need more than a squeaky floorboard to wake my as up.

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bratislava t1_iu2er5m wrote

Yes, Kyoto has ton of buildings like that. It was weird, didn't sound squeaky, more like crickets

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Passionate_Wobat t1_iu2exyl wrote

It's a little known fact that wd40 was invented because of this.

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TalosBeWithYou t1_iu2fofz wrote

Japanese carpenters are so competent they have to design flaws. Love it. On brand.

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BlazingKops t1_iu2g2z4 wrote

"Woah.... getting killed by a real ninja! Cool."

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jennc1979 t1_iu2j5e9 wrote

I knew there was a name for the staircase leading down from my bed room!!!

3

SharpieBass t1_iu2jxud wrote

Either my house has these floors or my wife is a ninja.

2

Duderpher t1_iu2lgm2 wrote

Nightingale Floor was my nickname in high school.

3

GingerlyRough t1_iu2m0o9 wrote

Replying to TalosBeWithYou (#273,361)

Best method would be to set the notes like piano keys, with each row of ninja tiles being a different octave. Larger rooms will have less accuracy (with only 12 notes in an octave restricting the number of tiles per row) but if you know the piano it'll be easier to pull off.

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greenmariocake t1_iu2q0lb wrote

Nice. I can add this to the listing: New roof, stainless steel appliances, recently installed anti-ninja floors…

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phangrrl t1_iu2qaak wrote

When I saw the Emperor's palace in Japan they let me crawl under and look at the floor joists.

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Animal2 t1_iu2rsbh wrote

TIL the people that built my apartment put in ninja flooring.

1

opney t1_iu2thgy wrote

God I was blaming the PM for the not properly installed floor, it make sense now!

1

GodOfChickens t1_iu2thpu wrote

This must be why my toilet squeaks, I just figured it was crying.

Unfortunately all it does is alert the cat to come and remind me to get off the toilet and floof her.

1

InannasPocket t1_iu2ut6w wrote

Replying to wolf_boi_ (#272,345)

Our old (both literally and figuratively old) house had lots of squeaks. My husband loves that our new place doesn't.

I kinda want my anti ninja floors back so I don't accidently poke someone in the eye with a fork because they snuck up on me.

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CavediverNY t1_iu2v16y wrote

Very random, but did anyone else first learn about this by reading the Ian Fleming James Bond novels?

3

wallabee_kingpin_ t1_iu2vi8w wrote

Replying to JonPacNW (#273,434)

I read two of them as an adult and can confirm that they aren't good. They're surprisingly boring. The characters are forgettable, the plot is predictable, and there isn't enough fantasy/magic to make the world interesting.

−1

tacknosaddle t1_iu2z1pj wrote

Replying to InannasPocket (#275,695)

Some people make everyone remove their shoes to enter the house. Instead you could have an array of tap shoes to fit all household members and guests by the door to solve that problem.

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Faultywhale t1_iu33ea3 wrote

Purposefully squeaky floors were also a plot point in Syfy's hit movie: Never Cry Werewolf

1

InannasPocket t1_iu33nt8 wrote

Replying to tacknosaddle (#276,319)

Oooh, replace all our inside shoes/slippers with something just noisy enough they can't sneak up on me, but ideally not so noisy that it makes me want to tear my hair out when my husband is pacing around.

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goteamnick t1_iu33p7d wrote

Sounds like something a clever real estate agent or a bad landlord made up.

1

Hilbrohampton t1_iu373zh wrote

Thankfully I have anti ninja ankles, they click so much i could never be a ninja

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aminervia t1_iu39k0j wrote

"across the Nightingale floor" is an amazing book, kind of ninja/fantasy-esque with these sorts of floors as part of the plot

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Corv-au t1_iu3aaqy wrote

Nightingale floors are one of my favourite things.

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OhBeardedOne42 t1_iu3g3dr wrote

There's a guy going around just installing bad squeaky floors and calling them "anti-ninja" 🤣

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Squiizzy t1_iu3i52r wrote

Replying to wallabee_kingpin_ (#275,810)

You're not wrong about predictble plot, but i quite liked the world bulding, and the grounded quality of the asian fantasy thats pretty much a staple of that ilk.

Forgettable... also yes.

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sanwfa t1_iu3ir14 wrote

LOL carpenters and other construction workers build anti ninja stuff in our country even without asking 😂😂

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YuntHunter t1_iu3j02l wrote

Replying to itchy_008 (#272,415)

From Nijo Castle, these weren't intentional.

"The singing sound is not actually intentional, stemming rather from the movement of nails against clumps in the floor caused by wear and tear over the years"

I was there a few years ago and remember reading this.

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AbbertDabbert t1_iu3k0jp wrote

Doesn't mean shit with Bently's grapple hook

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gumbo100 t1_iu3k1dt wrote

Which is why ninjas have learned to run on walls. When will the ninja/anti-ninja arms race end!!

1

Bongo1020 t1_iu3lzam wrote

I think this is false, an urban legend and is maybe a simply a consequence of the aging construction. From what I recall when I visited Nijo in Kyoto they outright state that it may simply be caused by how the floors are secured with nail over decades/centuries naills would gouge out the wood slightly. The result was that when you walk on the floorboards the plank shifts, scraping the nail and causing the characteristic screech.

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sythingtackle t1_iu3pi3q wrote

Must be a lot of Ninjas over in the UK cos most new build upper floors and stairs squeak

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keelbreaker t1_iu3sbmb wrote

Imagine living in a society that had to invent anti ninja floors

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keelbreaker t1_iu3skx4 wrote

And here I am making sure no one murders a corporate executive just thinking. I'm the anti ninja floor. Which lead to the mental image of a guy just laying on the floor and when the ninja steps on him he just says, "Squeak." ninja looks down, cut to guy with foot on chest and gun BANG!

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Nixplosion t1_iu3wgbz wrote

As a descendant of ninjas let me tell you, we started wearing big wooly socks to counter this problem.

Throws smoke bomb and disappears

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MI6Section13 t1_iu3y4ca wrote

Replying to CavediverNY (#275,718)

You can learn a lot more from The Burlington Files than Bond! Ever heard of the Bona-fides Bond? He was a real spy called Bill Fairclough (MI6 codename JJ) aka Edward Burlington and while there aren't any films made about him to date there is one hell of an espionage thriller released so far about his real life exploits.

Beyond Enkription (intentionally misspelt) is a must read for espionage cognoscenti and the first stand-alone spy thriller in The Burlington Files autobiographical series by Bill Fairclough (MI6 codename JJ, aka Edward Burlington). It’s a raw and noir matter of fact pacy novel. Len Deighton and Mick Herron could be forgiven for thinking they co-wrote it. Coincidentally, a few critics have nicknamed its protagonist “a posh Harry Palmer.”

This elusive and enigmatic novel is a true story about a maverick accountant (Edward Burlington in Porter Williams International aka Bill Fairclough in Coopers & Lybrand now PwC in real life). In 1974 in London he began infiltrating organised crime gangs, unwittingly working for MI6. After some frenetic attempts on his life he was relocated to the Caribbean where, “eyes wide open” he was recruited by the CIA and headed for shark infested waters off Haiti.

If you’re an espionage cognoscente you’ll love this monumental book. In real life Bill was recruited by MI6's unorthodox Colonel Alan Brooke Pemberton CVO MBE and thereafter they worked together on and off into the 1990s. Pemberton’s People included Roy Astley Richards (Winston Churchill’s bodyguard), one eccentric British Brigadier (Peter 'Scrubber' Stewart-Richardson) who tried to join the Afghan Mujahideen, Peter Goss an SAS Colonel and JIC member involved in the Clockwork Orange Plot concerning Prime Minister Harold Wilson and even the infamous rogue Major Freddy Mace, who even highlighted his cat burgling and silent killing skills in his CV.

This epic is so real it made us wonder why bother reading espionage fiction when facts are so much more exhilarating. Atmospherically it's reminiscent of Ted Lewis' Get Carter of Michael Caine fame. If anyone ever makes a film based on Beyond Enkription they'll only have themselves to blame if it doesn't go down in history as a classic thriller … it’s the stuff memorable films are made of.

Whether you’re a le Carré connoisseur, a Deighton disciple, a Fleming fanatic, a Herron hireling or a Macintyre marauder, odds on once you are immersed in it you’ll read this titanic production twice. For more detailed reviews visit the Reviews page on TheBurlingtonFiles website or see other independent reviews on your local Amazon website and check out Bill Fairclough's background on the web.

1

aFoxNamedMorris t1_iu3yo55 wrote

Sounds like a security nightmare... Imagine hiding outside and quietly listening for the squeaky-ass floors. Any intruder would know immediately where people frequent, patterns, where people are.

1

Herne8 t1_iu3yxri wrote

I'm remembering a scene from Kung Fu where Caine has to walk across a stretch of rice paper on gravel without tearing it.

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winegum343 t1_iu3zqub wrote

How fucking bad is the Ninja problem in Japan.

1

Malvania t1_iu45uvf wrote

Replying to 8cuban (#272,623)

Didn't the head of the assassin's guild also have tuned floorboards? I remember there being something about the Auditors not setting them off

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TusShona t1_iu468q1 wrote

Cartoons have taught me that Ninjas can run on walls, so this strategy is invalid.

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Fisserablemucker t1_iu4gowz wrote

Starling boards. I was lucky enough to tread them in Japan. Amazing stuff

1

mx3goose t1_iu4gx7i wrote

Replying to Tsara1234 (#284,583)

The majority of all ground contact pine or framing lumber is only 20-30 years old at its absolute best nowadays and has been for the last several decades.

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BubberRung t1_iu4h6oh wrote

Hopefully the house also comes with an anti-tiger rock.

1

_twintasking_ t1_iu4jfls wrote

Replying to M0rqu1ng4 (#278,313)

Saw your other post and was like "yeah! What's up with that?!" Then saw the response and thought "I'm an idiot, duh....." (I've been involved with music since I was old enough to sing, so like 23 years, and somehow that escaped me, but I also just woke up and haven't had coffee yet)

1

FireMonkeysHead t1_iu4m8oc wrote

Replying to mx3goose (#284,949)

I have a very strong magnet I attached to the end of a wooden board and it’s simultaneously satisfying and terrifying at how many nails and bits of metal I can pick up in the same spot

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silentspyder t1_iu4pxg3 wrote

After I heard ninjas were fake I’m skeptical of everything ninja. Is there another reason? Or is it more that the look of ninjas was fake but there were still “assassins?”

1

MyNameIsRay t1_iu4u0qy wrote

Replying to DonutCola (#287,215)

It's not a theory, it's what the composer (Mike Post) says he did to create it when interviewed about it.

”Post synthesized his chung CHUNG electronically, combining six or seven different sounds to get the right dead-bolt effect. One of the eeriest adds: the sound of 500 Japanese men stamping their feet on a wooden floor. ”It was a sort of monstrous Kabuki event,” he says. ”Probably one of those large dance classes they hold. They did this whole big stamp. Somebody went out and sampled that.”

https://ew.com/article/1993/02/26/law-orders-tune/

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WordTheMyth808 t1_iu4xpk4 wrote

I visited one of the castles that was in Kyoto that had these nightingale floors. I don't remember the name of the guy, or castle (maybe it was Nijojo Castle? ), but he was immensely paranoid and meticulously planned out this castle out where there'd be no way for someone to sneak up on him, be hiding in a room waiting for him, and no one knew the entirety of the plans of the castle except him. Regarding the floors - there was no way you could tip-toe to soften your footsteps. It is a really strange feeling where no matter how much weight you walk on you're loud as fuck, kind of like walking on dry leaves (not the sound but how you'll basically always make some sort of crunch when they are underfoot.) There was a ton of hidden doors, rooms that had hidden doors that lead to no where and you'd get stuck, false fake doors that he would know if someone was trying to find secret doors, etc. etc etc. Plus the artwork and grounds were immensely beautiful, I don't recall any sneaky shenanigans being outside, only inside the castle.

1

DonutCola t1_iu4y300 wrote

Replying to MyNameIsRay (#287,742)

Yeah bro there were “6 or 7 different sounds synthesized together” and ONE of the 7 sounds was 500 dudes stomping. That’s like 15% of the sound lmao. You’re 15% right and I’m 85% right. Rip.

−21

TheJoshGriffith t1_iu501kc wrote

When I was a kid my dad installed a gate on our garden and intentionally left it too long so it'd scrape on the floor whenever opened - it made a noise like scratching a chalkboard but still opened with relative ease. I asked why, he said if anyone tries to break into the garden they are gonna make a lot of noise opening it. About a month later someone tried to get into the garden in the middle of the night, woke us all up, and we saw a would-be thief running off into some bushes out back.

To this day, every house I live in, I do exactly the same thing. No idea about ninja floors, but the idea of intentionally building things badly for personal safety doesn't seem farfetched, given we actually did it, and it actually worked...

1

patchgrabber t1_iu5403d wrote

Replying to InannasPocket (#277,058)

> inside shoes/slippers

This is a very American thing. Why would you need shoes inside the house? It's the best place to not wear shoes. Do your feet all stink horribly bad or something?

7

Nippahh t1_iu54lms wrote

Do you think ninjas would charge more?

"Yeah this fella has anti ninja floors, extra hard to sneak up on his ass. It'll be 1000 ninja crystals extra bro"

1

SuperSimpleSam t1_iu56fis wrote

This must be why in anime you see ninjas running across roofs.

1

InannasPocket t1_iu57m8u wrote

Replying to patchgrabber (#289,688)

In my house, we normally don't wear shoes/slippers inside, but IF we do they're not the same ones for outdoor wear. At my kid's preschool they had to have "inside shoes" (I think so they has less worries about the kids getting their feet injured while also not having mud tracked through the classroom). We'll sometimes wear slippers for the warmth, but generally it's bare feet inside.

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Zauqui t1_iu5a4h0 wrote

Replying to patchgrabber (#289,688)

I usually go shoeless inside my home but i was on a friends house when i was a kid and i got splinters twice from walking of her house's floors! So yeah. I get why shoewear is a thing.

Also because feet can have fungy and that is not fun at all.

1

colbyxclusive t1_iu5cpyj wrote

I mean if you let a ninja get that close isn’t it too late already?

1

frezik t1_iu5g366 wrote

That takes care of the ninjas, but what about raptors? Didn't think of that, did you, Japan?

1

KingJoffer t1_iu5iebd wrote

Replying to TalosBeWithYou (#273,361)

'Perfect pitch' muscicians call it. It's something that need to be trained, but most people have to be born with the ability to get even modest gains.

I met a guy in high school band that has synesthesia and would 'see' a different color for every note. So he memorized the colors and that's how he knew the note. I fart at a light green f#.

1

crusoe t1_iu5kkgn wrote

No they weren't in most cases. It was an accidental side effect of how they were built and subsequent wear. The floors used a metal clip to hold down the boards and these were nailed into the runners. Over time the nails would loosen slightly allowing the metal clip to squeak.

Later on people liked the sound and found out how to reproduce the effect. The whole anti-assasin reasoning was added later.

1

eidetic t1_iu5klu2 wrote

Replying to silentspyder (#286,847)

Ninjas were real. But they weren't like their pop culture depictions.

So in Japanese stage plays, it was common for stage hands and prop handlers to wear black clothing. This was kind of their costume, and a sign to the audience that they weren't part of the play itself. Basically, if an object or puppet or something was being moved by someone in black, you'd interpet it as the object moving on its own instead of being moved by someone. This idea was borrowed for art, where ninjas would be "hidden" by being dressed in black. Some stage plays would even make use of this where one of those stage hands would turn out to be a ninja hidden in plain sight.

But in a way, that did sort of reflect reality. Just as the "ninjas" in a play were hidden by being dressed up as part of the crew, real ninjas - who should be more thought of as kind of special forces, not just conducting assassinations, but also reconnaissance/spying, etc - would often dress as common every day workers. So they might hang out at a castle disguised and behaving as a gardener, or mason, or what have you. Blending in with the people, they could collect information about the comings and goings of people, the routines of a castle, or maybe help move precious cargo by being security without drawing attention, or perhaps pretending to be pilgrims on the road in order to set up an ambush, things of that nature.

Pure black itself isn't that useful even as camouflage, since rarely are things a straight black color. Even against the night sky, a black clad person will be silhouetted against sky because even the night sky isn't perfectly black. Night time operations probably saw the use of darkened clothing, perhaps using coal to blacken shiny tools, etc, but by no means is there any evidence for any kind of black ninja uniform, or for any kind of standard uniform for that matter. More than anything, they'd lean towards practicality, and black is rarely that practical outside of maybe a cocktail party.

2

Danno210 t1_iu5kuis wrote

Replying to patchgrabber (#290,139)

Dogs [and other pets] is why I take off my outdoor shoes and put on house shoes when I get home. The pets track in enough dirt each day that wearing just socks or going barefoot isn’t as fun as it would otherwise be. But I’d rather have my pets than sparkling clean floors - spotlessly clean floors are a material thing that don’t hold a candle to the companionship and friendship of pets. Plus wearing comfy house shoes makes standing at the sink or stove for a while much more enjoyable too.

1

CarlJustCarl t1_iu5mmqr wrote

Apparently my home builder had the same thing in mind

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silentspyder t1_iu5ntz0 wrote

Replying to eidetic (#292,759)

Okay, that what I heard. Maybe a better question would be were they that common to even bother with these floors. Maybe it’s just rich and powerful being paranoid. I know there was a ninja clan, started with an I, so maybe there was enough demand for them.

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mr_sharkus t1_iu5p380 wrote

ANTI NINJA FLOORS. New band name, called it!

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lsthmus t1_iu5qtpd wrote

Across the Nightingale Floor!

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sftobin t1_iu5r4ff wrote

TIL? You've never played Splinter Cell Chaos Theory and it shows.

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hvgotcodes t1_iu5u8gp wrote

Yeah you saw that in a certain video game.

0

am_trying_to_be_nice t1_iu5xh6b wrote

TIL MY APARTMENT HAS ANTI-NINJA FLOORS

TIME TO PUT THIS INTO THE SALES BROCHURE

ANTI-NINJA INSURANCE INCLUDED!!!

WOW!

1

tan101 t1_iu5xrhq wrote

Across the nightingale floor.... Read the book ! Later on I travelled to kyoto and got to visit one of the temples with this flooring. It honestly sounded like noisy rats running across the floorboards.

1

ninjas_in_my_pants t1_iu621iz wrote

Do they have a version for alerting you of intruders in your pants? Asking for a friend.

1

DiogenesOfDope t1_iu63hrz wrote

I can't believe my contractor didn't offer me anti ninja floors wtf. Jk I'm too poor to afford floors

1

KarlWhale t1_iu659a0 wrote

This feels like something a japanese grandpa would say to his grandson

1

iamansonmage t1_iu69zfy wrote

I also have “anti ninja” floors.

1

InannasPocket t1_iu6g25y wrote

Replying to Labudism (#283,028)

Maybe not the right description, I just meant to distinguish between "these floors are 100 years old" and "this is my old house, called old because I no longer live there".

1

Katana_sized_banana t1_iu6omg1 wrote

There is even a game show where someone has to sneak on it without making any sound. It's really hard.

1

medi3val11111 t1_iu6wa6e wrote

There's book on this concept called "The Nightingale Floor."

1

bobdole3-2 t1_iu7h506 wrote

Replying to Bongo1020 (#279,342)

Even if the floors were built that way on purpose, I sort of doubt that it was to stop ninja. The modern idea of a guy dressed in black sneaking into a castle in the dead of night to assassinate someone is a comparatively new idea. It's basically the Japanese version of James Bond, it's not what ninja actually did.

1

dar512 t1_iu7ona6 wrote

Has no one read “Across the Nightingale Floor”?

1

Thousendmiles t1_iuet93n wrote

So, the squeaks of my back and knees are alerting me about intruders...aging can be surprising!

1