I'm not sure if you're looking for someone on Reddit to excuse you. Here's my take on it. Even though the husband did all he could(or thought he could) you still wanted more. The kid tires you out because, you know, that's what kids do. This tiredness in turn is making you resent your husband, not because he doesn't or hasn't done enough, but because as a mother you have a different connection with your child. I'm not going to go into the merit of whether you FU or not but you will definitely FU if you don't make this right and talk to your husband. As a husband and father myself, I'd rather people tell me what a shitty husband I am than that I wasn't there for my kids.