hogtiedcantalope t1_j6avrzt wrote
Reply to comment by HFGuy9999 in TIFU: Said something hateful to my husband by [deleted]
Shouldn't he be able to discuss his problems with his family, it's absurd to insist he can't talk things through with those most important to him
HFGuy9999 t1_j6aygqy wrote
There is a difference between talking to them about having troubles, it's a totally different thing to bad mouth her.
sorry_outtafucks t1_j6d053f wrote
Agreed, but we don't know if he's bad mouthing her yet. And honestly, she said some hurtful shit that she knows she should apologize for and she still hasn't.
Kyuthu t1_j6b43x2 wrote
Yeah she's very specifically said so she has to go through it all again with them too. There's asking for help and advice on complicated issues, and then there's just saying things you don't need to share to make yourself feel better, at the cost of their opinion of your partner changing and them having a go at her later also.
There's a line between the two that you should try not to cross to prevent damaging your own relationship. Their one does not sound good or healthy. You don't need to tell your family and friends every single little mishap or argument or thing your partner as ever said.
She's said one line accidentally, apologised, but he's gone off to his family's, telling them all about it and she's going to have to deal with their opinions and comments on it later. That's not good. He should really be talking to her about it.
SatyaNi t1_j6cb8rw wrote
You are making this up. All we know is he gone to his mom's. An you are really Quick to dismiss the shit OP said...
Kyuthu t1_j6cdfk3 wrote
What are you talking about. It's in her comments.
SatyaNi t1_j6cef1c wrote
That he went. Not that he vented.
Why assume the worst ?
RedPine1234 t1_j6chqqr wrote
She also said that she’ll have to go through it with them later. Implying that he’s vented to them in the past and coloured their opinion of her, which she then has to deal with. Did you miss that?
Kyuthu t1_j6chzjv wrote
It's not assuming, it's inferring directly from what she has said. 'I'm sure he's blowing out to his family so I'll have to deal with their shit later too". That's not something you say when this isn't a normal occurrence or something you've had to deal with before. You don't usually spout totally irrelevant assumptions out with no bases like that. Then you add on that he's held money over her head multiple times in the past, because he earns/pays more than her towards their house/life and suddenly her responses, whilst wrong, all make sense.
It's not assuming anything, it's taking directly from her post and the various comments she's made in the thread
SatyaNi t1_j6cm1ow wrote
My comment was also for her. He went to his mom's.
May be to seek advices, maybe for getting some confort.
By assuming that he went to complain, there is little chance the situation wil end peacefully
sorry_outtafucks t1_j6czxq2 wrote
I agree with you. OP is speculating, unless he's consistently done this before. Also, OP hasn't apologized yet. Her husband is sitting there stewing on the untrue and hurtful comment - I would need some space from her too.
SatyaNi t1_j6d7wqw wrote
The main problem I think is that it is not the first time that this occure.
Both of them seems to compete zbout who do the most for the kid.
It began with OP complaining about the father involvment in the begining, and him bein defensive.
As far as I know, that is a tecipe for à nasty break up brewing.
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