This all happened back in early high-school. For context, I (20F) didn’t grow up as someone who watched porn. I actually had my first kiss when I was fifteen, and that was the extent of my sexual experimentation. It took years for me to get the courage to touch a man over his jeans, let alone below the belt.
When I was sixteen, I had my first real boyfriend. Like teenagers do, we’d get a little handsy, and I let him guide me with intimacy. He was my only source of info for what guys liked, so when he instructed me how to give a handjob, I believed him. We dated for two months, and I became a firm believer that I’d perfected the art of a good ole handy. Still hadn’t watched porn or consulted anyone other than him.
After we broke up, I opened myself up to the idea of talking to other people. Lo and behold, I meet Zeke. (Yes, that’s a fake name.) He was also a bit nerdy and I found him pretty hot, so when I finally got the nerve up to ask him to hang out, I was super excited. One thing led to another and we were making out on his bed. We went to a boarding school, so we only had fifteen minutes allotted for visiting his dorm room. The make out sesh would be fast, but I was confident he’d remember it.
And he did! But for reasons I didn’t anticipate.
Zeke asked me to touch him, so I pulled off his belt and put my hand below his underwear. Then, staring at him confidently in the eyes, I started grinding my knuckles into the tip of his penis. Think of a mortar and pestle. I was putting my whole weight into my knuckles over and over again, basically punching his penis, while not-so-sexily saying, “Oh yeah? You like that?”
Poor dude looked totally shell shocked. He didn’t react at all until the timer was almost up and I proudly pulled my hand out of his pants. I asked him what he thought, prepared to have blown this guy’s mind, but all he could stammer out was, “That… was like a deep tissue massage.”
He didn’t hit me up again, and when I told my friends about the encounter, I was quickly told that men don’t like it when you punch their penis. My first boyfriend must have just been into some weird shit. My friends called me a “Deep Tissue Masseuse” for the next few years, and I still cringe at the memory of Zeke’s horrified, frozen face.
So, yeah. Sorry, Zeke. My bad.
TLDR; As a sheltered inexperienced teenager, I tried giving a guy I handjob, but I believed it was grinding your knuckles into the tip of a guy’s penis. He put up with it, probably because he was so shocked, but I definitely ruined my chances for a second date.
EDIT: Just wanna clarify that I felt like a “late bloomer” because a lot of teens around me bragged about sexual escapades that I couldn’t relate to. When I say that it took me years to touch a man below the belt, I just felt like I was behind, especially because I’d had mutual attraction with people and was adamant that I wouldn’t kiss them, let alone get handsy. It’s all perspective lol
CloneTroopah t1_j66wjr4 wrote
I guess you took beating his meat a little too literally.