TIFU by over sharing at work

Submitted by urbeing2loud t3_10kzj9h in tifu

I feel so stupid right now.

Background: my brother is trying to change jobs (and succeeding it most likely this week, but there’s always that 1% that could go wrong) because his current work is a toxic environment.

Someone from my department who I barely speak to said she was talking to her best friend and my country’s name came up, so they both said they knew someone from that nationality. It turns out it was me and my brother. Her best friend is the HR at his company.

I was positively surprised when I heard that. My brother sits right next to this HR person and has always said great things about her. For some stupid reason I thought they were friends. He has mentioned some personal things he’s shared with her, and she’s had helped him with some medical things.

After showering the HR person with compliments, I asked if she said anything about him or the company, and added he might not be a good fit there. My coworker said her friend never talks about the company, and that’s just the way she’s been trained. I said something like “that makes sense, one of the reasons he has a hard time there is because he’s just a more open person”, and we left at that.

Needless to say, he’s furious at me. He said she will go straight to the CEO with that.

I was so shocked, I thought they were friends but apparently he doesn’t share his issues about the company with her. He said she’s HR first and foremost, not his friend (again, so stupid). I apologized and apologized, and still feel super bad.

Now he feels extra pressure to finalize this other job recruitment asap.

After he calmed down a bit he said it wasn’t so bad because I only talked about him, no one else, and he’s fine being seen as “not a good fit” because they probably know that already. He was just trying to be nice I think.

I just feel like such an idiot. I won’t sleep until he signs with this new company. It will be a long week.

TL:DR. I told my coworker who is my brother’s HR’s best friend he might not be a good fit at his company

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Comments

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ThornyBeard t1_j5tpnxq wrote

This is a pretty solid TIFU. I felt cringe and frustration at the same time. It was relatable and genuine. Bravo.

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BernieEcclestoned t1_j5tr09g wrote

Is he changing jobs or changing company? If he's moving company, no big deal.

Also, if he's at a company where being seen as an open person is seen as a negative, you've not fucked up, he's better off out of there.

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Spektra54 t1_j5tsadv wrote

The point is if his other company oportunity fails and he gets fired then he is jobless. That is what they are worried about. If he gets the other job no big deal. But being jobless can really suck depending on the industry.

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BernieEcclestoned t1_j5twy9z wrote

I'd like to see that exit interview.

'let me get this straight, you're firing me for being too honest and open? See you in court, or shall we settle now?'

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Spektra54 t1_j5tx6ed wrote

There are places with at will employment so he can be fired for pretty much any reason. Also they can say no he bad mouthed the company.

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BernieEcclestoned t1_j5txhg0 wrote

That's why we have labour laws.

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Spektra54 t1_j5txtev wrote

Okay lets say that happens. Not a lot of people are gonna be willing to fight a long and expensive legal battle. But you can spin it however you want. They can just start treating him poorly. And those things are hard to prove.

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BernieEcclestoned t1_j5u0zk9 wrote

Yep, I've managed people out before. It takes months though, you can't just fire someone for something their friend has told them.

And a lawyer would be very interested in a long and expensive lawsuit, and would do it for no win, no fee as well.

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zorggalacticus t1_j64k88z wrote

No. At will means at will. And it's not against the law. You can be fired for ANY reason in an at will state (like mine) and its perfectly legal. As long as they're not falsifying information (and even then YOU have to prove that) they can fire you whenever they want. You don't even actually need a reason in an at will state. The boss can just walk in and be like "you're fired" and boom you're out of a job. There are no federal laws to prevent this either. Most jobs use this to hold over your head to keep you in check. Sucks but it's legal so there's nothing you can do.

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ohmyjustme62 t1_j5trcfc wrote

I have opened my mouth and shoved my foot in it more times than I can count. Sometimes we talk before we think it out.

You will know better in the future. Good luck to your bro

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