Submitted by Bright-Mode-2768 t3_10dli0k in tifu

Soooo this literally happened an hour ago....

My stomach has been fucked up for days. Today I'm finally feeling better and my boyfriend and I took a shower together..... One thing led to another and yeahhhh

At one point I felt my stomach ache again so I said we need to stop. But he was close to finishing and I thought I could wait a few more minutes.

Boy was I wrong...

I shat all over my boyfriend's balls and the bed.

What's even worse is I didn't even feel it happen!!!

I just like hurriedly wiped him up so he wouldn't know it got on him.

We had to take a second shower obviously.

And before anyone asks ... No we were not doing anal... That would have been much much worse.....

I'm so embarrassed but we're laughing about it. And he's making so many jokes! Like he literally fucked the shit out of me.

His new line is "I would pounce on you but I don't wanna get shat on again"

I wanna crawl in a hole for a while until he forgets about it lol.

This got removed cuz it was too short soooo. I'm not sure what else to add to this to make it long enough to post.....

TL/DR I shat on my boyfriend's dick during sex cuz I have a stomach bug and I thought I was better but nopeeeee

Edit: we broke up. And me shitting on his dick isn't why πŸ˜‚ I'm so heart broken though honestly. But whatever 😏

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Comments

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funlovinmammal t1_j4m3lsr wrote

If he can laugh about it, he's a keeper

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Bright-Mode-2768 OP t1_j4m3u99 wrote

Oh he's the best 🀣 we've been best friends for like 15 years

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funlovinmammal t1_j4m42fx wrote

True love is being able to get through the real shit together and come out stronger

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OptimusSublime t1_j4m9cnk wrote

Then you're fine. It'll be something that (in a weird way) builds your relationship as it'll be a shared experience that you can hopefully both laugh about later.

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viskopsop t1_j4m05it wrote

Oh cool..I shat on my girlfriends face once when I accidently followed through underestimating a gentle breeze for a grizzly bear.. some of that yesterday's ox tale stew Rrrrrrrrrooooaaarrrrr!!! Shame.. But anyways, we laughed it off and took a shower together and pretended it did not happen, becuase actually it did not happen!! lolz so embarrassed

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Sorta_machinist t1_j4m6isg wrote

Thisβ˜πŸ½πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I think I peed a little.

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hemuliheiluu t1_j4mpl9i wrote

fucked the shit out of you lmao

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Mintblock_ t1_j4m21m2 wrote

Will make a brilliant segment of the groom's speech someday πŸ˜…

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Bright-Mode-2768 OP t1_j4m2cgu wrote

Oh Lord have mercy I will die of embarrassment but I can see that happening now that you said it !!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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frostyfird t1_j4mnyum wrote

I got a stomach bug and it’s just flowing. I can see this happening

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_my_choice_ t1_j4nfviy wrote

I know it was embarrassing to you. I am glad you could laugh about it later, because it is funny. He can forever say he fucked the shit out of you, and not be bragging. We find out when we get in serious relationships, especially when we live together, the good and bad of being human. Air freshener for every bathroom because, shockingly, a girl's shit does not smell like roses. It was a big shock to me.

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DoctaMario t1_j4m4k2l wrote

Lol there are people who probably pay for stuff like that. At least you guys can laugh about it, that's a good thing!

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Kayman718 t1_j4mcre1 wrote

Been with my wife, married and dating, for over 40 years. We still laugh about humorous sex stuff that occurred in our early years. This will be one of those memories for you two.

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Bright-Mode-2768 OP t1_j4mfttp wrote

Oh it absolutely will be πŸ˜‚ as I said in another comment.. we've been best friends for 15 years. We're engaged and plan on getting married this summer. We're both 33

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Head-Inflation8372 t1_j4qh99t wrote

Did you actually break up? wut

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Bright-Mode-2768 OP t1_j4qiqn5 wrote

Yupppp it's a long story but the condensed version is he is going to rehab and I will support him for that and take care of his pupper while he's away. I just want him to get better

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Specialist-Farm-931 t1_j4qm1f3 wrote

Wtf you guys broke upπŸ’€

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Bright-Mode-2768 OP t1_j4qmgdl wrote

Yupppp and like I said it was not because I shat on his dick πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­

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Positive_Resident_86 t1_j4rs680 wrote

What'd you do that's worse than literally shitting on him?

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Bright-Mode-2768 OP t1_j4v4b1w wrote

🀣 trust me I'm not happy about it. But to be fair (tobe fairrrrrrrrr) I'm not really sure if we're broken up cuz he's in rehab πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ

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ijeanofdreammie t1_j4wc78a wrote

Don’t worry. You’ll find a new guy to shit on soon! Just get back out there, and eat your fiber!

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FigLow4974 t1_j50cszt wrote

Y’all broke up??? 😭 Wtf happened lmao you just said y’all knew each other for like 15 years

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M4NOOB t1_j4pnq7w wrote

Why are americans always scared to type "sex" or other words for it online and rather describe it as "doing the deed" or "naked time"? Just write sex, fucking, getting railed or any other word for it

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Bright-Mode-2768 OP t1_j4q65f4 wrote

Well I didn't want to say it in the title but I have no problem talking about the fact my man's literally fucked the shit out of me πŸ˜‚

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