TIFU by sending my pregnant wife to China

Submitted by zubekakkin t3_10odf0o in tifu

In 2019 me and my wife started our green card process when we we about to have our first child. We had all of our paper work accepted and were interview approved in February of 2020. Then, came along Trump and his ban on immigration into the USA so we were dead in the water until he was gone. About a month after Biden became president we were given an interview date in May we couldn't make so had to pass on it thinking that it wouldn't be that hard to get a 30 minute interview at the Guangzhou consulate.

Unfortunately, China's covid zero policy meant that the Guangzhou consulate was understaffed and everyone who could get out of China was trying to at the moment in time. So, in 2022 when all hell was breaking lose in Shanghai I took a job in Mexico thinking that it would be easier to get an interview in Mexico since there were no interviews in Guangzhou every time I checked for over a year at that point (they were doing like 2 a day, but getting them was almost impossible). So, in July, we went to the USA, and then to Mexico. The job in Mexico turned into an absolute quagmire and they screwed up my wife's and without that the consulate in Juarez wouldn't take us. The final nail in the coffin was when my student's poisoned me after I caught them cheating and we still weren't in the country legally. So, we headed back to the USA for a bit. My wife got pregnant on the way from China to the USA. We're both an older couple and waiting longer for the second child is not really the best option.

So, while we were in Mexico the Guangzhou consulate opened up a bunch of appointments. So, we took one and my wife flew back to China in October thinking that if she stayed in the USA she could have potentially overstayed her tourist visa and been unable to get a green card later on.

In a normal process they interview you and give you a green card that same day. unfortunately, my wife has a master's in computer science and thanks to Trump again. . .I hate him if you haven't figured that out. They have to "thoroughly vet" her. Which is a process where they don't tell you how long it will take, what will happen, or where her information is being sent.

Under normal circumstances this means waiting a few months. In this case it's a bigger deal because she is pregnant and due at the end of March. In China, laws on giving birth are insane. Until a few years ago single women could not give birth and register the child as a citizen. If a single, pregnant woman showed up at a hospital they would just turn her away or make her get an abortion. For our first child to be born my wife needed my passport to register at the hospital months early. Now, I think she can register at the hospital. . . (I think. . . .) but I don't think she can get a birth certificate. In order to get a birth certificate the mother and father of the child have to be present at the hospital within 30 days of the child's birth. Without that birth certificate child number 2 can't become either Chinese or American thanks to the laws of both countries. Currently, I don't have a Chinese visa and I'm trying to get one, but the Chicago visa office for China hasn't gotten back to me.

Things that complicate me going back to China are as follows: my mom is getting back surgery to prevent paralysis, my dad has Parkinson's and can't really take care of her on his own after the surgery, I have one child here with me, and I work full time. I teach Science Chemistry and if my wife is unable to get her green card then we will have no choice but to go to another country so that I will be educating foreign students in STEM subjects. My f=wife has a degree in computer science, but she is garbage at computers and only wants to run a small daycare here in the USA since she's actually really good with small children. She's super tiny and so little kids think she's like the adult who is one of them.

Anyways, I could have kept my wife here in the USA until she gave birth and then had her go back to China to do the interview, but I f#$%ed up by thinking that going to China would be the best option to get the green card so we could be a family in the USA, but now my second child will be stateless.

Some extra facts here. I have tried contacting all the consulates in China. They are completely ignoring my messages. I tried going through my representative and Senator. They got very generic responses from the consulate in December. I know the consulate screwed up initially, because we sent in the required documents they asked for on November 22nd and on December 5th I got an email from them asking for us to send in that paperwork even though I have a confirmation email from them when the item was received on November 22nd.

TL;DR I sent my pregnant wife to China and now my future child might end up stateless.

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Kadeous t1_j6dwxe0 wrote

Damn man, kind of sucks to be married to you.

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Devi1_May_Cry t1_j6gjiqm wrote

I can't follow this, and I've read Russian novels cover to cover and made sense of them.

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zubekakkin OP t1_j6gmgys wrote

They always make sense. Just not until the end.

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Erocketfries t1_j6epk25 wrote

just gonna skip this one after skimming

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fatevilbuddah t1_j6dz2md wrote

Dude, you were IN Mexico. As an American citizen, you should have just walked across the border. If she's your wife, she gets a visa different than a tourist visa, and since when has anyone from Mexico needed a Visa? Just make sure you walk across at a place where the B.P. is right there, and a pregnant woman with an American citizen usually get a fast track hearing, and coming from China, you could claim asylum until your green card for marriage came through. It shouldn't be hard to verify your ID, and the American consulate in China should have no problem getting an American, which she would be, out of China. It's not like they're holding her hostage, it's red tape. The marriage and baby cut a lot of that red tape as it proves it's not a buy your way through mail order bride situation. Should be easy, just bureaucracy.

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brackenbu t1_j6e4pfo wrote

This is extremely ignorant

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fatevilbuddah t1_j6ekytn wrote

Why? 1000s of people cross the Mexican border every day illegally and get their paperwork in order PDQ after that, especially if it was mostly in order to begin with. He has the paper trail, it's a matter of showing the right CPB agent and they should have no problems. An immigration lawyer would help, but again, paperwork

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zubekakkin OP t1_j6fu6xc wrote

They actually end up in legal limbo all the time. They rarely get approved for a green card or citizenship. DACA is the closest thing that has happened to them and that is an awful stressful place to be because they really have no control over their future and they were usually brought here as children,

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WhatANiceCerealBox11 t1_j6gphqn wrote

You literally don’t know what you’re talking about lmao. My parents brought my sister and I to north eastern US on a tourist visa. We overstayed and I didn’t even know I was illegal until I turned 16 and was trying to get a license only to find out I didn’t have an SSN. Couldn’t get a license till I was 20 when DACA was passed. As OP said in his comment, my parents are in legal limbo despite submitting their papers over 2 decades ago. I finally became a permanent resident but that didn’t happen till I met the love of my life. DACA was a life saver for kids in my situation but the insecurity of when that’s going to go away was unbelievably stressful. Since you’re clearly very ignorant on the matter, legal immigration is very difficult, convoluted and time consuming as op has said. In my case, parents tried to do it legally but 9/11 happened a few months after we arrived in the US and that made things even worse

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because_of_ghosts t1_j6e4rhe wrote

China will not extradite to the US, why do you think they would surrender a US citizen just because our government asked them to?

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fatevilbuddah t1_j6ek6ao wrote

Is it worth an international incident with a superpower already getting ready to go to war with them over Taiwan? The politics will be easier to just let her go than to try and negotiate like Russia did with someone who broke the law? This administration is not terribly good at getting stuff done, but this is a much lower profile, fairly standard issue of passport control and visa issue. She won't have a social credit score unless she's been there for a while, and being married to an American would make her an undesirable rather than a bargaining tool. I would think it could be cleared up between 2 low level functionaries at desk jobs, especially as open as this administration has been towards China. I can feel the OPs helplessness and I agree, it's a fucked up situation, but not a hard fix, just a red tape one. The citizenship issue as far as becoming a dual Chinese citizen isn't a problem because China doesn't have dual citizens. The baby will be one or the other, and if Chinese law says the baby can't be Chinese then the American government will claim the baby because of its American Father. More paperwork. In the meanwhile, she can apply for asylum, as a married to citizen visa and passport, may even be able to take the citizenship test at the embassy and become naturalized which would make it a LOT harder for China to hold her. The media here would eat that up. In the end, it will come down to some forms, a lot of sweat on both parents behalf, and some paper pushers trying to get it done before it becomes a real paperwork nightmare. If there's 1 thing all people hate, it's paperwork, and the CCP has a LOT more than we do. Even if its only to save a tree they will get it done. The only REAL problem is if neither is American to begin with, in which case best bet is apply to the UN for a Nansen passport for stateless people. Most governments recognize that and will allow travel on them, and once out of China the process will be easier.

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brackenbu t1_j6ep41b wrote

You are joking right? You think it would be an international incident because they never flew a woman back to America? Get real. It happens all the time and if you think countries will be more forced to go to war because of one pregnant woman, you’re an idiot. There will be no negotiations, this isn’t something that goes straight to the presidents it’s something that will be handled by people working in the embassy. Ie in letters and phone calls. Not dealing with higher ups. She’s a Chinese citizen, just because she’s married to an American citizen doesn’t mean she immediately gets shipped to America. That’s a delusional image to portray.

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fatevilbuddah t1_j6fcgxo wrote

My point exactly was that this wouldn't be an incident specifically because it's not worth it. Reread the post. It will be a paperwork issue, and the fact she's married to an American (if that's right) gives her American citizenship. There will be or usually is spot checks for a few years to make sure they actually are married, but otherwise for all intents and purposes, she SHOULD be American by marriage. Happens all the time with Europeans. Unless the rules are different in dealing with China, unless he's not a citizen, she shouldn't even need a green card.

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zubekakkin OP t1_j6ftsak wrote

I don't know if you guys understand. China is not holding her hostage. The USA is the ones who are not letting her come into the USA yet.

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fatevilbuddah t1_j6getqh wrote

She was here and went back to not overstay her visa. Commendable for sure, but it seems the Chinese consulates are ghosting her. Sounds like they don't want her to come to America to me. Lord knows if you say something wrong over there, the party knows immediately, so how could they NOT know about a situation like this? Either it's political, or they really really want this baby to be stateless so that the US doesn't get another Chinese baby, and they don't have to offer the baby any of the "rights and privileges " afforded to the rest of china

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zubekakkin OP t1_j6gla4t wrote

It's the American consulate in China.

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fatevilbuddah t1_j6pbgvg wrote

Read it wrong, my bad. I would say just go to the place physically though. If they have a legit case then they should be heard. Politics only goes so far.

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zubekakkin OP t1_j6ftzxv wrote

Also, I should clarify because this doesn't seem known. Being married to an American does not give someone the right to US citizenship. It makes them eligible to apply for a green card with a number that is not limited. However, it still takes 12- 18 months and costs at least 1500$ and that is when things are good.

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fatevilbuddah t1_j6ge7uo wrote

I know, but this op sounds like they would pass the sniff test no problem. It's not a mail order bride situation. I will have to reread the op but I think they already had one kid here, if my brain is running right, which makes it an even easier thing to do. The 12-18 months is the total time but you can get a temp card immediately if you're not a suspicious family. I have friends who did it. It's a matter of getting a good immigration lawyer and if the state has no objections, it's a done deal. This op doesn't seem to say money is nonexistant, and even then pro Bono work and even law students can help fill out paperwork and offer free advice, just not as a professional. It's not fast and easy, it's slow, tedious and full of red tape, but its not hard, just more annoying than most people will deal with.

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zubekakkin OP t1_j6gllrk wrote

My understanding is that if we were to enter the country on a tourist visa and overstay, then we would be ineligible for the green card because we entered the country under false pretenses and that disqualifies you from getting residency. Yes, one child is American but was born abroad.

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fatevilbuddah t1_j6pb87j wrote

Get in on your tourist Visa, and apply for asylum and your card from here, do it without overstaying. You have an American son, and thats generally an almost given that they will work with you and make you a special case. The fact is you should be able to go to the American embassy wherever you are and ask to talk to someone but you're not sure who. They will help direct you to the right place, and because your son is American, they will help with the paperwork and help expedite it. You probably wouldn't even be on a tourist Visa. There is a list of visa types, legnths and rules and I'm sure there is one for your situation that may be much more beneficial. Hell, ask at the embassy if you can do a naturalization test at the embassy. Then you don't need to file for a green card. You're an American and you're going home with your new passports.

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zubekakkin OP t1_j6fto88 wrote

You can't claim Asylum unless you come from an area where you are being persecuted. If it was that easy everyone would do it.

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fatevilbuddah t1_j6gfrac wrote

That's the most common claim at the southern border every day. Economic persecution is how its being posited. All she has to do is say she's religious and she will automatically qualify because of China's human rights violations against religion. Her previous stay here on tourist visa will have given her enough time to find Jesus or whatever and she can be persecuted all day long. Asylum here she comes. It's harder to persecute someone when you share 98% of their lives except you're a despot and a power hungry asshole. That's why most South Americans aren't getting in legally as asylum except economic. There's no reason they should leave their homes except for more money. No one's going to gun them down for existing. We need to take a hard look at our immigration laws, and maybe this couples experience will help that conversation, but for this moment, these rules need to be followed, and I believe saying religious persecution would be more than enough.

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zubekakkin OP t1_j6gl7a9 wrote

Well, Venezuelans might disagree about persecution. A lot of the other claim that they are being targeted by the gangs and some of those are legit.

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