It sounds like neither of you were in the right headspace to consent to what you both did. Give her space, I'm sure she'll talk to you about it when she's ready. I imagine it's going to be a difficult conversation for both of you and I hate to say it, but I really doubt your friendship is going to be the same after this. I'm not sure you guys are "cool" either. I think she probably said that because she's hurting about potentially losing a friendship over this too. I don't think either one of you is more at fault than the other, it sounds like you've both gone through some emotionally heavy stuff recently and this is how it's manifested. Be upfront with her when you guys eventually talk about it, you owe her that. You probably shouldn't have done what you did, but alcohol and the emotional vulnerability of going through recent breakups will make you do dumb shit. I think telling her that you were both not yourselves at the time is the best course of action. It still doesn't excuse what happened, but hopefully it'll help her see that her friend didn't mean for it to happen. I can't even begin to imagine how shit you must feel rn. I'd be beyond devastated if this happened between me and my best female friend. I think you probably need some time to process all of this as well. I hope you guys can work through this and come out better for it at the end. Wishing you the very best during this difficult time