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JackJack65 t1_j4ry9ji wrote

Eh, I don't see why you should feel bad about it. Perhaps it's not polite to discuss money so much, but if he's the one that continually brings up the subject, I don't see a good reason to hide the fact that your partner is doing well. If you speak to your partner about it, I would simply explain that your show-off friend had such a superiority complex that he goaded you into pushing back, by demonstrating to him that he's hardly the most successful person you know. Unless your partner explicitly asked you to keep her salary private, no harm done really :)

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PinkDancingFlamingo t1_j4s0mfr wrote

I agree. He was being holier then thou about it and made a dismissive, possibly sexist, comment about her and you simply showed him why his view was wrong. He was being a dick and pushed it

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Davetherocker OP t1_j4s0i6z wrote

Thanks for your comments/ explanation. I might steal some of it. But it remains that while she didn’t explicitly ask me not to share it, it was very much expected. She really will hate this.

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aussie_nub t1_j4sp5gv wrote

I'm also not really sure why you think you've lied to her by not telling her. Did she ask you? Then you haven't lied. Is there any expectation that this is something you shouldn't do? It's not like you cheated, but for some, discussing your finances with us could be a deal breakers. If it's not though, I wouldn't even bother bringing it up.

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MerleFSN t1_j4uk5io wrote

Omission is a grey zone. If he can openly hash that out it would be more favorable, I think. Imagine this coming back to her ears, and not from him. Yea, he might not have lied then still, but obviously it was of interest to her cause it is about her.

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aussie_nub t1_j4ukff9 wrote

It's not really. It's impossible to raise everything with a partner, you only talk about the things that are most important to you. If there's absolutely no indication that it's off limits, then why would it be a problem? If it does every come up, then you can apologise, but it probably won't.

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Davetherocker OP t1_j4w44bc wrote

She would not expect me to talk about her salary. She hasn’t asked me not to because it’s basically an unspoken rule.

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