substeff t1_j5f1v9o wrote
Reply to comment by brainpain152 in TIFU by repeatedly doing things my gf doesn't like by [deleted]
I didn't realize how much I hurt her with my actions. I always thought it would be fine as she was angry with me but after she settled she always said that she is happy that I am here. I am turning 27 this year and I didn't realize that I am still selfish at times that I shouldn't be which I truly regret because she deserves better.
FelixVulgaris t1_j5gbtlw wrote
She told you not to do it.
She explained why you shouldn't do it.
She got upset every time you did it.
How do these three things add up to
>I always thought it would be fine
??!??
ihaveanideer t1_j5gbuxj wrote
It sounds like you know you have some progress to make, which is honestly a huge step. Speaking from my own experience, you might benefit from taking a while (a year or even more) away from dating, and instead focusing on your thinking patterns, which ones are unhealthy, and how you can retrain your brain to have healthier ones. For instance, if some things are quick to trigger jealousy in you, work on immediately identifying that and processing that feeling quickly, channeling it into something more actionable. In time, your initial response to those triggers won’t be as strong. This is a big part of how I approach personal growth, and after a relationship that kind of crashed and burned, I spent 3 years heavily focusing on this, and my relationships since have been so much more stable.
I wish you the best!
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