> I don't want to be a man like this.

Hate to break it to you, but an individual is defined by their actions - you are a man like this. But you're young, and there's plenty of time to change. Stop hiding, from yourself and others; come to terms with your decisions, admit to them, and accept the consequences (and no, the consequences won't be fun). And if you're sincere about your desire to change, keep that in mind next time you feel the impulse to flirt while already committed.

Fucked around and found out

201 days, eh?

Okay so you’re not interested in ur girlfriend anymore clearly, so why fuck with her and stay with her dude you’re lookin like a douchebag😪

Don't want to be that guy, but 2 things wrong here.

First, jealousy has NO place in a relationship. If you're jealous, you never had them in the first place.

Second, never, ever, let a controller into the relationship. It's 50/50, or nothing at all.

With that said, you shouldn't have talked to that person in the first place, especially in any way that would be considered "cheating" or "hiding" anything. That parts unfortunately on you. Yes you are very young and don't have any experience in the real world of relationships either, but we all learn with time.

Idk your particular history with your girl, but here's some food for thought. Find someone who is on your page, has your back, and loves you unconditionally. Someone you enjoy your time with. Interests don't need to be an exact mirror either learn from each other, but most importantly, be kind, honest, and love one another.

Ultimatums are a big red flag. If you hear one, run, unless it's a major issue, crime, endangering each others health, whether emotional or physical, or anything along those lines. For example, I'm an ex-addict, 5 years into recovery, and my wife and I are best friends. But we agreed that if I were to even slip once, it's over. Not good for her or the kids. That alone keeps me clean.

If she is willing to breakup with you for anything at all, even a small mistake, I'd SWIFTLY move the fuck on.

That with other things you've mentioned makes me think she does it to control you, other wording would be manipulation.

Her showing you her texts, for one doesn't mean she couldn't delete things, or alter them entirely to look okay, but it also opens the door for her to casually ask to see yours, which isn't fair. If ANYONE asks to read your shit or have your phone in general they themselves are unhappy and are wanting to find a reason to justify it, without actually realizing they're just unhappy cause THEY are unhappy.

Not saying what you did is okay, but like others said you're young and honestly that isn't much to harm a relationship tbh, an apology and saying what went down should be enough to trust you that you aren't like that, if she ain't gunna trust ya ehhhh I'd move on, she seems very manipulative and controlling which can be yikes, as your needs will most likely be second to hers period.

[deleted]