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olduvai_man t1_j5i3x1d wrote

WTF, how are you coming across the same way in the retelling as you do during the incident? I've got a permanently disabled kid, and you can't possibly fathom the heartache and loss that someone in this position is going through.

The reason she is even reaching out to you is likely because she is trying to maintain a social life and personality of her own because being a parent of a child with needs takes over your life and erases your identity.

The fact that you thought it would be appropriate to ridicule this kid, and find a way to insult her with your "apartment warming" quip in this post, speaks volumes about you as a person.

You sound like a terrible human being.

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ThaumKitten t1_j5kmi1k wrote

Can attest to the middle paragraph. I'm 25 years old; disabled child (in so far as relation, not necessarily mentally or age-wise) this entire time and my mother was the one that took charge.

Now, after 25 years, things are /actually slowing down/, I'm stabilized, and we're finally able to start relaxing and for once, only a single appointment in this entire year is scheduled.

We're flummoxed. Our entire identities have been about taking care of me. Now we're both sort of floundering and helplessly wondering 'Well what do we do now?' since we've never known a life beyond.. well, keeping me alive and healthy.

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trying_productive OP t1_j5i5fs9 wrote

I know I’m trying to get my act together and my age excuses nothing. But tbh I didn’t think it was a such a big deal since she didn’t care. Your probably right though and I’ll apologize. I guess I don’t care because my family told me i did nothing wrong and she should’ve gave the kid up for adoption anyways. I don’t really know how Reddit works I just wanted to share the experience. Thanks for telling me your opinion I really needed this lol.

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effitdoitlive t1_j5ipkn6 wrote

I think you meant to post this in the r/iamatotalpieceofshit sub.

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trying_productive OP t1_j5kr9u6 wrote

Hey sorry I’m new to Reddit but all I see on that sub is like people stealing burgers maybe I need to look further.

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BumpyNubbins t1_j5lbem9 wrote

New to punctuation, new to empathy, new to common decency. Lots of (eventual) firsts for you, I'm sure.

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trying_productive OP t1_j5mljj8 wrote

This is off topic but are you like 50? Acronyms exist now. I don’t know I don’t rlly care abt punctuation when using Reddit.

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starwhal3000 t1_j5ia879 wrote

I think we can hear why you are the way you are. I don't want this to come across too cruel, but I really hope that if you have children that you give them up for adoption as well. You'll ingrain into that child what your family has ingrained into you... please don't do that to the world, the future is going to be hard enough.

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xXxZigixXx t1_j5iwnwx wrote

Who the fuck says “she should’ve just gave the kid up for adoption anyways” 👀 i just hope this is one of those bots on reddit cases

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oldar4 t1_j5j44td wrote

"I really needed this lol " you should leave that woman's life, she deserves better than you. Even now you don't take it seriously. You did one of the most heartless things I can imagine and are still taking it lightly.

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Frequent-Community-3 t1_j5iwqol wrote

Were you never taught to be kind and accepting of others despite any differences? I cannot fathom how a grown-ass person could laugh at a differently-abled child and then just laugh it off later, also. You are severely lacking in empathy and definitely not deserving of your friend's time and energy. I'm actually embarrassed for you, not them, though you certainly don't deserve the empathy you obviously can't show to others. You should be ashamed of yourself and begging HER forgiveness, not the other way around.

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killakidz7 t1_j5jstcr wrote

You didn't think you making fun of her child was a big deal? She did care - she cried in front of you. What the hell? You have no sense of empathy and this line is particularly disgusting - "my family told me i did nothing wrong and she should've given the kid up for adoption". The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I suppose. Please - don't be friends with this person. They deserve better.

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BonPeaceEtc t1_j5ijynu wrote

You should try to be better & more empathetic than your family then. Ask your friend to explain her experience with raising her child so you can better understand.

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Kbearit t1_j5k1x28 wrote

This is sad and heartbreaking.

Seems the apple didn’t fall from the tree if you family sees nothing wrong with this. I really hope you put some though into who you are as a human being.

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WhatANiceCerealBox11 t1_j5kvqyi wrote

What a completely garbage family you’re in. Having a child is a privilege and every child should be cherished. Giving a child up for adoption doesn’t fix anything. It’s not like the child stops existing. Giving up a child for adoption is an incredible difficult decision for anyone to make and the fact it’s said so blasé in your family shows the quality of character you guys have. Grow up and while you’re at it tell your parents to grow up

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MEDICARE_FOR_ALL t1_j5kvyq3 wrote

You come off as even more of an ass in this post.

Do yourself a favor and get some empathy.

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orchidlake t1_j5o60dy wrote

holy hell what kind of shit family did you grow up in? Laughing at another human being is a horrible thing to do, especially in front of them and their loved ones.
How is it your family's business to claim what she "should have done"? She should have abandoned the child? Sorry? So it can grow up abandoned and in isolation instead? Or so whoever else adopted it would be a saint that "shouldn't have adopted such a child"?

She made a choice to keep the child for a reason, and she's genuinely hurt about the struggle he'll have. She's a good person. She's right that your reaction was toxic; and that you decide you don't feel bad just because she made the choice to cut you out is also toxic. You should gain some maturity and acknowledge that you did something bad and she's in her full right to reject contact with you. You should be able to respect it without being vengeful (and now feeling right in your actions.). Your family might be assholes. Naturally assholes will support asshole behavior. It's an extremely toxic notion to talk down and tell someone what they "should have" done with their child. Gross.

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Dead_Anarchy t1_j5olwrl wrote

Seems like the shit apple didn't fall far from the shit tree.

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