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chaos021 t1_j4n6bye wrote

Isn't part of the hookup making sure we're all good?

"Are you married or dating anyone?"

"No. You?"

"Nope. The safe word is 'bananas' and nothing goes in the hair."

"Bet"

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Altruistic_Captain47 OP t1_j4n6wy3 wrote

I usually get confirmation on relationship status but it his status on profile was single. I just assumed he was single and didn't bother much.

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PlasticInTheBasket t1_j4n850k wrote

That's not on you.

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blacknessofthevoid t1_j4nfoma wrote

Agreed. It gets omitted on purpose and you make yourself look bad by asking a normal person things like that. Are you cheating right now, are you a serial killer, do you abuse puppies on weekends? The excuse, well you didn’t ask, is weak.

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Unsure_if_Relevant t1_j4n8hea wrote

Did he specifically say he cheated? Or was he possible in a non monogamous relationship?

Either way he was a dick for not communicating all that with you, informed consent and all

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Altruistic_Captain47 OP t1_j4na0gy wrote

His girlfriend doesn't even know that he was Bisexual.

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mcm0313 t1_j4obeff wrote

He needs to (pun intended) be straight with her. She doesn’t deserve the lies. Neither does OP. Just to be sure, though, next time OP might want to ask directly.

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Unsure_if_Relevant t1_j4nbw6t wrote

But is he monogamous? Either way sounds like he was a dick and you did nothing wrong

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TrashBoyGold t1_j4s4gs7 wrote

He’s probably not even bisexual but gay and in the closet.

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flip469 t1_j4nwoz2 wrote

I'm not gay, but this popped up and was curious so i red it.... "she doesn't know he is bisexual", lemme tell you something dawg.... SHE KNOWS!!!! lol. She mite not want to admit it or talk ab it, but she knows. Congrats on getting laid, btw✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽🤪🤪🤪

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WulfTyger t1_j4td22d wrote

First.. Exasperated sigh.

Second.

Even some bisexual people don't realize it until later in their lives.

Years and years of people being oppressed or hated for liking their own gender kinda makes that hard or terrifying.

I only recently started exploring my bisexuality, I didn't even think I was bi until I was 27. Didn't do anything with any men until 29. I just turned 30.

Third.. Your text is painful to read.

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Compufreak345 t1_j4n8wi7 wrote

So basically he did not only cheat on his girlfriend, he also did cheat on you.

That's a good reason to feel anger, but no reason to feel guilt.

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chaos021 t1_j4n93m9 wrote

Ok. That makes sense then. You shouldn't feel bad about it. He's actively being deceitful.

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potatofairy42 t1_j4phmno wrote

See, maybe it’s just me but if I’m on a dating app I don’t feel like I should need to question if the person is in a committed relationship. Cos, you know, they’re on a dating app. I’ve had a few people on apps ask me if I’m single and it’s always a red flag.

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sarcastic_boii t1_j4pqk68 wrote

how is it a red flag?? maybe they’ve just been in situations like op, and don’t want to be part of someone else’s cheating?? everything has to be a “red flag” nowadays…

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potatofairy42 t1_j4pr873 wrote

That’s a good point that they may have been there before, I genuinely didn’t think of that. Short sighted I know. I always took it as a sign that they think it’s ok to be on dating apps when you’re in a relationship.

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WulfTyger t1_j4sin08 wrote

It is- If you're in Polyamorous or ENM relationships. I'm committed to three people.

Yes, they are all aware of each other and have met, more than once.

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chaos021 t1_j4pre68 wrote

That makes no sense. If I'm even thinking about trying to get close to someone, I always asked if they're seeing someone. Asking shouldn't be a red flag. People who dodge the question or give you weird answers are a red flag.

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