Just wanted to say I'm sorry this is a struggle for you. If the universe was kinder it wouldn't make taking your necessary meds also the trigger for your substance abuse struggle.

I'm a long term prescription pain medication patient. At one point I was using a crazy amount a day, all as prescribed (Drs were just trying to keep me from losing my mind after ending up with 24/7 migraines following a stroke). I know how blessed I am that I was able to make the decision to reduce the meds and then do it without my brain and body chemistry working against me at every step. I'm sorry you don't have that luck. But I believe you can find an answer.

I do agree that your Dr needs to know. And I hope she can help you find an effective med that isn't such a siren call to you. GL <3