Fair point. In this case I was using Asshole synonymous with a F-up or a screw up. I did think that the question, as asked, was pretty self evident. To me it read like: "I'm a former substance abuser who just recently abused another substance, was that a bad idea?" it seems very self evident to me that anyone with any sense would agree that, "Yes that was a very bad idea." Maybe I'm wrong, mabye that is not the way that would Universally be looked at, but I can't comprehend that anyone with any sense would not see that as a bad thing. I felt like the actual question you were asking was an unstated question more like: "I know that was a bad idea, but am I completely screwed." If that was not, in fact, the question that you were asking us, and yourself, then maybe it should be.

So I looked at it from the point of view that it is not healthy to get too caught up in self flagellation over a mistake because some people actually get caught up in the emotional roller coaster of Screw up, guilt, despair, hopelessness.... and then back to the beginning with screw up. There are actually some people who crave the excitement of that kind of Up/Down emotional roller coaster. Especially people who come from dysfunctional backgrounds. So Self flagellation is not the best reaction to slipping. So thinking that you are completely screwed is not the correct course of action. You also don't want to become a "Golden slipper" who feels like you have it all figured out and just need a few minor tweaks. What you should be doing is looking it as you are someone who is in a car heading straight to crapsville, at a very high rate of speed. You really should turn the wheel, because the further you go down this road the more difficult it becomes to turn the wheel until you finally drive yourself so far down that it is almost impossible to turn the wheel.

So I made several assumptions about what you were actually asking, which may actually be untrue. I also incorrectly changed the question from "Did I F up" to am I a "F up". I guess, if that is the case, my question would be. On what planet would people think that you did not F-up? Because to me it seems obvious that you are in a car headed to crapsville and it would be a good idea to turn the wheel.

Sorry if I answered a question that you were not asking.