Also, a psychiatrist won’t necessarily think the worst if you tell them your med is working at some points better than others. It’s not uncommon to have a supplemental medication for towards the middle/end of a stimulants med’s duration.

You however did tell your psych your substance abuse history, so she/he is taking this to account w/ your medication plan. Try to keep in mind treatment plans aren’t cures — there are ups and downs and falls and leaps, especially when just getting started.

Look at what you’ve succeeded in— you’ve reached out for help. You’ve communicated your history and problems with your psych. You made a treatment plan. You communicated with your partner at every step. You practiced active awareness of the risks of both medication and substance abuse. Though you did slip up, you immediately communicated this to those necessary.

That’s a lot of real, positive progress, man.

Welcome. Also, not a doctor but inquire yourself into a medication called, Intuniv, its a non stimulant adhd medication. Cant really abuse it, still quite effective.

Bring your bf with you to the next appt to help keep you accountable.

Having the urge to take 8 isn't what others experience.

There are actually non stimulant medications for adhd too. But some of the issue might not actually be the effect it has, but how you see it. If you're seeing it as a "get me through the difficult parts of the day" vs "this is just medication like antibiotics or blood pressure pills", that's going to make it much more tempting to abuse.

Also, your boyfriend just giving you the colder shoulder and not communicating is a little immature honestly.