Submitted by Webofshadows1 t3_zgmbdn in tifu
This story happened many years ago, but I was reminded of it today. I was stationed in Hawaii and loving life. One particular night, we (3 of us) went to a club to blow off steam on a Friday night. Before we go out, I was given the title of wingman. One of my buddies (Rogers) spots a girl he knows and introduces us. She says she has 2 other friends on the dance floor and we should all hang out. We’re all thinking perfect.
It was not perfect. While the other girls were knockouts, my girl looked like Melissa McCarthy’s character from Bridesmaids. My other buddy (Adams) begins to practically beg me to keep “Melissa” company. Rogers let’s me know that Melissa always cockblocks and he begins begging too.
I decide to keep her company because why not. Melissa was at least funny. After dancing and talking for awhile, Melissa suggests to her friends that we all go back to their place to hang out. Her friends look at her stunned. We all agree and get to their place.
This is where the fuck up began. I definitely know what Melissa wanted. As soon as we get in the house, the other couples split to their respective bedrooms. Melissa leads me to her bedroom. I do not want to have sex, but it feels like I’m obligated at this point. As she starts getting naked, Melissa’s demeanor changes to more serious and she says she has rules. “Condom never comes off. No oral sex for either party. No fingering. No biting. No heavy breathing. Do not touch her nipples. Only touch one breast at a time. Only 2 positions allowed. And she didn’t want me to put the “whole thing” in. She then jumps on the bed, spreads eagle, spits on her hand and rubs her vagina, and then tells me to “saddle up”. I am still soft, have my clothes on, and visibly confused. She sees my concern and gets up, still naked btw, to go to the other girl’s room. Melissa begins yelling, “I was promised dick tonight and if he says no, these mother fuckers need to leave”. The walls were very thin. I now realize I must do my duties to earn Wingman of the Century for my contributions.
Before she gets back to the room, I get naked with a hard-on. When she opens the door, she looks at me and screams RULE CHANGE. “You can only go past your head”. She touches my dick and makes an imaginary line. She does her saddle up move again and I put on a condom and get on top. After 5 minutes of boning like I’m scooting in a chair, she stares intently at me, grabs my head, and just begins screaming aggressively. I start to wonder if my friends are playing a cruel joke on me. She says, “I’ve cum, but I still want to be bent over”. I begin to take off the condom and tell her I’ve had enough and I would rather jerk off. She looks at me in disgust and states “How dare you try to take the condom off?! I have a fiancé. Do you think he would like me seeing you cum?”. I’m dumbfounded. I put my clothes on with my remaining dignity and begin leaving. As I’m leaving, she tries to grab me. Not realizing my own strength, I pushed her so hard that she toppled over the bed like a cartoon character. I am in full on panic mode now. I didn’t mean to do that. I run out the house like a toddler who stole cookies before dinner time.
TLDR Played wingman and had terrible sex with a crazy woman. Then shoved crazy woman really hard and ran.