Woah man... they don't teach you about paragraphs in college anymore?

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😭😭😄

This hurts my eyes bro. I read the TLDR and damn man. It would have been better to have waited to be with your GF. Now you dont have one and you have other things you dont want.

Well that sucks

I think a misplaced perspective here is also that you cheated on your girlfriend because you were worried about not being good at sex…

Be foolish, win foolish prizes.

That being said I hope HSV2 hasn’t been so bad for you. You are still datable. There are many people with herpes and all people make mistakes.

Wow. This should be titled "How to make the most of your fuckup in a few easy steps. "

Just a thought...

You might want to consider getting professional help (therapist, psych). There seems to be a reoccurring theme that might have deeper roots.

That seems extortionately expensive for a bottom of the barrel hooker. Is this in USD?

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Just gonna say you can’t call them a “pro” if they gave you a STI.

Jesus, i think you won STD bingo

If anything you cheating on your gf in the first place was the real fuck up that led to all the other fuck ups.

Tells a lot about expectations we have of men these days.

Edit: Due to downvotes, I'd say this subject is too sensitive for further discussions.

Right cause if so I'm in the wrong line of work

More like the expectations men have of themselves

Without malice or ill intent, you need to speak with someone.

This decision making process is not something a healthy brain does. These are not the choices of a health mind. I know it might not be acceptable to some cultures, but you are suffering from at least one mental health issue. I promise you talking to a licensed therapist will cost you less than $400usd and will provide you with more perspective and self confidance than a sex worker.

It is no different to having a broken arm or sore back, you mind needs some help to get healthy. A metaphorical brain cast to help heal some wounds. You cam even ask your GP for recomendations if you have a doctor. Trust me it is worth it.

What's wrong with the setup? It's far better than most longer write ups, and it's sectioned appropriately I would say.

NOW it is... after he edited it :)

> She had at least 700 past clients

How do you know? Did they leave reviews? Is there a prostitution Yelp that I don’t know about?

> Judging from my outward appearance, you’d never expect me to have engaged in this type of activity, or to have a chronic infection

Oh so only ugly gross dudes are diseased with STI from prostitutes? Got it

I'm in the US. A few years ago, during my single days, I chatted on another message board frequently. Two women stand out to me. Both college aged, both very attractive. One was a hostess at a high-end restaurant, the other modeled clothes and shoes for a local skateboard company.

Here's where things got interesting. Both eventually admitted to me that they had accepted "gifts" for their company. When I asked "How much?" they both refused to say and asked how much I would gift them for their time. I told both "$300," and they both seemed happy with the amount and invited me to visit them. No, I never went through with it.

(Edited to clarify: I don't think they knew each other, and these conversations were one-on-one.)

Yes, there actually is a "prostitution Yelp". No, I'm not telling you the name(s) of them

Go play your victim card somewhere else, that was embarrassing to read.

what the hell are you talking about? The guy was putting pressure on himself because he was insecure, not his girlfriend, not any of his friends, himself. Tells us absolutely nothing about societal expectations of men because as far as I know nobody is expecting a virgin to pull out expert pornstar moves.

Quick glance to your comment history indicates that most of them are downvoted to oblivion. Maybe it's time to reflect a bit, the problem here isn't the subject.

Quick glance? A very picky one too.

Edit: I ser your karma isn't through the roof either lmao.

What's with all that hatred? I see this is a sensitive subject to you.

No point of answering thoroughly since you had to went emotional with it. We're not getting anywhere with such tense athmosphere. The subject rousing so much anger tells a lot.

You deserve it for 1. Cheating, and 2. Choosing to fuck a prostitute

Or maybe you are just wrong? You will never grow as a person if the moment you get criticized all you can think is they are too sensitive for the topic

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The claim isn't a fact as it is. OP, however also thought experience is expected and is a male. I can't really relate into that anymore because it's been twenty years when I was a virgin, and haven't exactly been unexperienced for a while now. I got rid of my virginity quite early so I didn't feel the pressure that much, but I would think it'll go up as years go by. To my knowledge, unexperienced companions aren't exactly preferred among more adult people, so I would imagine the pressure must have been hard.

Don't reflect your own insecurities at me. I'm not the person for you to try your kitchen-psychology diagnostics. You don't know anything about me, and if that's your argument, there's some seriously sick twist in your style of dialogue. You can't just assume people are this and that, represent a group you don't know they do, aren't what you think they are. If we're going that route, I might aswell make the a conclusion that you are even worse, maybe the rapist?

It's much more reasonable to go on these conversations when there's no trigger like my comment there. The same conversations goes on elsewhere, where the attitude isn't so full of hate. No point of continueing in here.

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400/hr is not cheap. You’d also have to be pretty unlucky to contract 4 stds from a brief moment of exposure.

Also, how do you know you have HPV?

Out of arguments so throwing strawmen it is? Figures. I'm not assuming anything, you yourself have said being DUI and that's a telltale sign of low intellect or very bad addiction. Drunk drivers are scum of society.

Hahahah, keep reflecting buddy. That doesn't determine me as a person as much at it does to you and I got nothing to prove to you.

My boss gave me a second chance. My society gave me a second chance. To be honest, they're lucky to have me, as I am a part of the garbage recycling system here. Atleast this scum of society does something for it. There really aren't that many doing this job, and they truly struggled to find someone to substitute while I had my licence off (3months). I trained the substitute.

I made a 2km max of drive on an empty road, realized what I was doing and tried to turn back. My personal car got jammed, so I walked back. Police called me, and I told everything. Got minimum because the fragility of my job (hard to find a substitute)

I already live with the fact that I betrayed the trust my company and the society had given me. Now I'm even better servant as the experience made me truly value what I had earned and what position I maintain.

One of the bosses told that because I'm calling with the garbage recycling company, and setting things with them straight-up, they don't have to do it and saves them a ton of work. He said it's rather unique in our company and this is second biggest in the country. Therefore I'm not only emptying these people's garbage containers and area collecting posts, I negotiate so that we have to drive them all. But even professionals are humans. I didn't cause a dangerous scene eventhough nothing defences drunk driving. It was a risk, and I of all people know that, because I see people taking lethal risks almost every day in the traffic, and I'm trying to work among there. We all make mistakes, and luckily my last one wasn't straight up dangerous to anyone but myself.

Did you learn the word "reflect" from my past post or why are you repeating it. And whoa, what an essay, it must be a sore spot to you but I'm not that interested. Explanations are like assholes, everyone has one.

What the fuck did I just read

I promise you that if she would judge you for your first-time moves in bed, she would not be worth a relationship anyway. Milk is spilled now though. You should look into some sort of therapy, I think your addiction clouded your thought process in this whole deal. That is not to say you are without guilt, as the most problematic thing is that you decided to CHEAT to practice the moves. Wtf. In any case, hope you look for help.

Yeah, well not everyone attacks me with full force even in Reddit over one mistake like you did. Most are polite people that are capable of having reasonable conversations like adults. I don't think I ever had to write such to anyone. But that tells a lot about you.

Edit: A bit ironic to question my intelligence when you're surprised me defending myself while you're comparing me into a rapist. Like what did you expect, to agree with you? I might not be a highly educated intellectual but you really aren't that good in having a dialogue with even some sort of manners.

Yeah same doubts and questions. An obvious answer as well but I'm gonna give OP the benefit of the doubt.

Boohoo

Dude I don't mind whether my partner is a virgin or not (some women might care, but that seems to be a very small percentage, and those women are further split among specifically wanting virgins or experienced men), but, and most women seem to agree with me on this, I would be upset if my bf cheated on me.

Hardly seems like all that much to expect someone to not cheat.

Huh guess you only don’t like it when other people mess up their typing

>A bit ironic to question my intelligence when you're surprised me defending myself while you're comparing me into a rapist. Like what did you expect, to agree with you? I might not be a highly educated intellectual but you really aren't that good in having a dialogue with even some sort of manners.

If you knew how to read you'd know that I didn't compare you to rapist, I said you are still one notch above them.

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There isn't excuse for cheating, you're absolutely right and my comment surely didn't mean to defend his actions or justify them. Still seems to me that a lot of men are more shamed about their virginity the older they get. Being self-confident on that area too helps finding a companion too so eventhough someone finding a love 'dont mind the virginity', it's somewhat plausible that the experience in sex increases self-confidency, and that often the key to find someone to love. It's not anyone's fault.

Are you out of arguments because you're attached in the details rather than answering with something reasonable?

Save your tears, it's not that serious buddy. But I won't judge your cry, it gives a relief sometimes.

The ridiculous, incredulous, impossible to reach expectations in question: not have stds to be date-able! Wow such difficult high expectations we have of men

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A bottom of the barrel hooker is a streetwalker and in the US is anywhere from $100-$150 depending on the girl, OP and these other guys are talking about escorts which are much more expensive

Oh, I'm so happy to hear!

Copying me again, lmao. And no, I'm just correcting you since you can't read.

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Yup, not a perfect reader. English isn't my first language though, but it doesn't seem it matters that much. But you can't have a conversation. Did the Grinch actually visit you this christmas?

I've not tried to hold up a conversation, you have just deliberately tried to defend your actions.

What a ridiculous claim.

this and that

That’s what you get for cheating. Doesn’t even really seem like you’re that sorry about it, but more sorry about contracting a bunch of shit. You broke up with her, cause you couldn’t tell her why you got genital warts, not because you actually felt bad. I can’t really feel sorry for you, the whole post reads as woe is me for being a fucking cheater.

Deserved

u cheated on ur gf. u deserve it.

How was their response emotional?

This reads like it was written by a woman

It means that since I've managed to say a triggering thing, my points wouldn't make any difference to the conversation anymore. It started with the wrong foot. I would sound like an asshole even more. Replies would be intentionally personal and mocking. I've already had a miserable dialogue with some pissed individual and it's exhausting.

To answer your question, they're mostly filled with hate in these kind of occasions.

Stop being emotional lmao it was a normal reply

No, bottom.of the barrel are $20 lot lizards and $10 crack fiend BJs.

Don't know what 'it' you're talking about. But yeah, I don't have my own emotions involved.

yeah, I don't know wtf this guy is on about. probably a virgin himself, cause everyone I had sex with was very comforting whenever I underperformed, convincing me it's okay, it happens, that they still had fun, etc. Only expectation was that I'm not selfish and finish what I started in some way, shape or form.

You contacted 4 STDs on your first sexual encounter, after paying 400/hr, That must have been traumatizing... So sorry

The cost of the escort, them being 'uglier' than their pictures, and the stds almost makes me think this is an anti sex work fiction

Based on the prices you quoted, this is a made up story.

A little more research next time and you might pull off a convincing story.

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No one is triggered. Triggered is a psychological response to trauma. Not thinking someone is wrong.

People thinking you’re an idiot is not them being emotional.

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The 4 STDs was it for me. I think this really happened, but OP is in a dark spot due to overwhelming shame and is adjusting his story a bit. Happens a lot with this stuff. Shame is a very ugly emotion.

In todays stories that didn’t happen.

Nah it isn't a sensitive topic, your take is just bad.

There are fuck all expectations on men, just respecting consent and washing your body puts you above a large part of men looking to date. This guy cheated and tries to convince others it was for a selfless reason, this is not an issue of expectations.

What the actual f Why would u ever do this

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10% of the world sexually active population has HSV2. I can imagine it's not pleasant, but it's nothing really serious.

How do you know you have HPV? It's believed that over 90% of sexually active males have it, so once again not that big of a deal.

I think the main issues you have is the shame of what you did l, as well as the guilt of it. Cheating that is.

The real fuckup was cheating, not getting those STDs.

(Also 400USD/h is not at all cheap, and it sounds very suspicious that you contracted all that within few seconds of unprotected sex. There might be more to the story)

I'm not saying it's an issue of expectations. He is. He tries to justify those actions with expectations he thinks she has about men.

This is like a fuck up lasagna. Have fun trying to find someone with the same STD as you.

Take a look at another dialogue I had with this individual. One was so filled with hate because something about my poorly phrased comments just made one go nuts. He went through my history like a stalker and would find a detail to paint me as dark as people can with the most personal weapon one can find. If that's not an action of hate, I don't know what is. As if I wasn't even human anymore, lmao.

Having such determinism to cancel me is indeed a sign of triggering something sore.

He got the prize that keeps on giving

Yikes. You are all kinds of fucked up. You need intense therapy. I really hope you stay away from other women for a while.

no this is reddit

it doesnt matter if you are right or wrong, its a hive mind

Almost unbelievable…

You said this says a lot about the expectations we have on men.

It does not, expectations on men are pretty damn low and OP is a douche for even trying to justify cheating.

Yup. Had totally made the expectations up from his head. A non-existing thing.

no at this point he is definitely getting downvotes for no reason

even when he says something pretty reasonable, normal and sociable, like several times in this very thread, he still gets targeted with downvotes.

i didnt stalk his profile like you so I cant say about his other posts, but in this thread, there is definitely some downvote bullying happening

Man with a fadora hat on his profile is creep. I for one am shocked!!!

Ah bro I'm so sorry

You are using sarcasm, but the words are true. That is some hentai plot level trash logic. You need to be a douche to think cheating on your partner is somehow for their own well-being.

There is a bit of embarrassment that you can feel if you are unexperienced, yeah, but there are no expectations. Even then, if you were worried about some type of ed you would buy a blue pill not cheat on your partner. I am sorry but there is no excusing anything op said, and him not getting away with it is no reason to justify his selfish and moronic logic.

Definitely awful that he has an illness from it, no one deserves life long punishment for being a douche while young and stupid, but there is no defending his behavior. It was not anyone's expectations that pushed him this way, only himself.

There are a couple of ways you can move forward from this. One is to be taking medications to reduce the likelihood that you could spread it to a partner, be honest and upfront about your status, and let them make the decision of whether the risk is worth it to them. You also could look into dating other people who already have HPV and HSV (I hope you had the others treated).

Both of those viruses are far more common than people think, as many people either never have any symptoms or eventually expel it from their system.

Be honest about your sexual inexperience with a potential partner too. The right person will be patient and willing to teach or learn with you.

There are a lot of people who are in your shoes, whether their first time was consensual or not. It is not a death sentence for your romantic prospects unless you make it so.

Who said there's defending in his actions? Hell no. Communicating is a thing and there's tons of other solutions they could have solved this. Ending up cheating is delusional and we should be worried from where these men are finding these expectations that doesn't exist.

I'm not familiar with that umm...hentai plot level trash logic and I don't want to, thank you. I quess it makes more sense to consume cartooned porn rather than real porn made in oppressive misogynistic environment but I don't have enough experience to truly say anything.

The best are the ones who are trainable. That way you can learn together. You have to break the wild horse before you put a saddle on it.

Can't feel bad for the dude who cheated on his SO. Karma is a bitch lol

4 days later. Considering herpes takes a lot longer than that to show up that's what did it for me

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Lies. You read lies.

Men find these made up expectations from other men who don't know what they are talking about. Being self concious about your sexual performance is natural and ok, but those expectations aren't coming from us, and that line of thought from op is nothing but coping for selfish behavior.

If I had an inexperienced guy, as long as he was around my age and not too young or much older, it would be unlikely to bother me unless he made it an issue by drawing attention to it. From my perspective that is not a problem, if anything it is exciting to get a chance to blow someone's mind. I don't expect to get off the first time I am with a new partner anyway, that takes patience and being a lot more comfortable.

The issue people have with dating virgins isn’t the lack of sexual experience, it’s the general lack of dating experience. Men without dating experience basing their idea of dating on porn and online forums with other dateless men. Then they end up doing things like cheating on their girlfriends with hookers because they’ve idealized sex. What woman wants to be treated like that? That’s not a virgin issue, that’s a mentality issue.

He added a zero to the price, and dropped one off the incubation period.

Likely a piece of fiction.

It was the “I was able to find out the exact number of former clients of this prostitute” for me.

Ohhh got me their! (Yes, there.... I know.)

You're absolutely right. Being a virgin doesn't usually rise the self-confidence which is highly appreciated in dating, it's not the... being a non-virgin. Obviously people who fall in love doesn't care whether the opposite is virgin or not, but I'd say many men carry it like burden after certain age and that doesn't increase self-confidence which is, again, essential and is seen very attractive. A virgin can be a very self-confident too, obviously but isn't that easy I would imagine.

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Here in Houston you can get a solid GFE for $200.

I will neither confirm nor deny whether I know personally.

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What strikes me is the sad viewpoint that the sexual innocence of your body is viewed negatively … to give your virginity to someone you love really should, in my traditional viewpoint, be treasured.

How much less messy would all of our lives be if we didn’t come with the emotional baggage of sexual intimacy with others before our longterm (hopefully life long) partner.

Going through a public profile isn't stalking. Its literally public. I don't know what commenter did that to you, but it's literally public and a good indicator of a posters views and/or bs.

🤣 lot lizards. Been awhile since I heard that term... But man... They are as real as it gets and can sometimes trade sex just to hang out in the truck and hitch a ride. I worked in trucking (not as a trucker, but in the office) and met my fair share.

Don't know what one did but decided to comment anyway. Yes, my profile is public and I stand behind everything there is. This is the only account I have and the one doing the digging had like 4 comments in total which implies one's doing a new one everytime. One weaponized the detail in my profile and prevents anyone doing the same to one because one makes a new one everytime. That's why it was ridiculous. The details are there, everyone can see they've got nothing to do with these dialogues. One chose a bad indicator.

A trucker bud met some midget lot lizards with no teeth..

So many comments just glossed over that this dude felt it completely acceptable and actually heroic to cheat on his SO. Dude, even if you lost your virginity, your sexual experience won't change THAT much with one time. So you cheated and we're an untrustworthy pos for nothing. Also, women generally don't care. In fact, it's preferable to alot of women because we can set the expectation for a man not to use as a bang machine and maybe care about our experience too. So many younger guys who have lots of experience just use it for self gratification and the girls never even get to experience climaxing. Experience literally means nothing. You are just a crap person.

I think we actually get shamed for it in younger years

Stupid idea start to finish

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You literally fucked around and found out

This is statistically unlikely. But sure man

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He should sell his story to an abstinence only sex education textbook manufacturer.

Surprised she also didn't get pregnant.

Besides I thought there was no reliable way to test men for HPV, so how would he know he has it.

You just wanted to have sex. That's normal.

So instead if comparing each other's experience of dating women, they have made a conclusion completely out of the blue that women have some sort of glass roof of requirements towards men eventhough any non-violent hygienic unemployed would do? I would love to dig in the root reason why that had happened. It sounds rather dangerous tbh.

I don't think it's about expecting the other to be experienced or even a non-virgin but these experiences are a big part of masculinity most of the times. Mostly everyone wants to feel desired, and if that just never happens, I'd imagine it's hard to break the loop and suddenly turn into attractive dude in the eyes of the other. The feel of being desired often helps the self-confidence which is attractive feature. But again, this is just my experience as a man so it's not your widely researched knowledge about manhood and such.

HSV-2 is apparently pretty common. I think 1/4 chances?

To OP: I dated a woman who had it. We had been on 3-4 dates and I could tell she was hiding something. So she finally told me she had the virus, this was before having sex, and I thanked her for being honest.

If this story is true, it will take a lot of courage to tell people, but that is your burden to bear. You will definitely come across people who don’t want to continue dating you, but you will also find some that will.

That woman I met is now married and seems as happy as I can assume over social media.

Good luck. Have courage. Keep looking.

Ima call 🐂💩

Perhaps other way around. Small sized computer 'nerds,' and such are often mocked as 'virgin boys'.

Stop it with that sarcastic tone. Your mockery is counter productive to intellectual honesty.

I’ll take “things that didn’t happen” for 500 Alex

This can’t be real

Oh, I'm sorry. My academic background is super thin and most of my english might seem a bit rude as we Finnish people are famous of being bad at small talk. I'm driving a garbage collector truck so I bsrely have even any privileges expect being harassed way less and not having to be afraid of getting raped. While I try to execute feministic thinking and dialogues, I must often time sound like a complete moran, I'm sorry.

Your english is fine, don't play dumb please. I do not fundamentally disagree with your point of view, I am only highlighting the nuance and why your first comment was not well received. And although a bit rude you did not say anything specifically sexist when you point out how masculinity feels and the pressure men feel to be good partners. You did, however, intentionally mischaracterize my talking points, and then attempt to invalidate my perspective.

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I get your points and not going to lie, I'm not a bot. My views are subjective as I'm already in the pit by trying to participate this after getting downvoted this much. I can't just exclude my annoyance causing some intentionally toxicity to appear in my speeches under this comment, same way there's annoyance in comments towards me.

I'm trying to find the dark spots in masculinity to develop it, not to defends it's last dark castles.

Who’s your hooker guy?

That is alright, I appreciate the honesty! If it helps in any way, the main issue people are taking with you is that you are implying that op's behavior is a result of the victimization of men from society. I know you aren't defending his actions, but you are eating up his excuse nonetheless.

Obviously there is pressure on men to be good lovers, everyone feels that, and feeling desirable is a huge part of sexuality, and it being expressed within part of masculinity is not a bad thing. Not feeling desired is a huge blow to confidence and self perception, that much is true. However, that is internal and related to insecurities, not pressure from society; thus, portraying op as a victim of society's expectations of men felt frustrating to others.

lol even a sex worker isn’t this dirty

Damn. So many things wrong with this post Cheap $400??? You were either ripped off or paid for a weekend gf experience through some sleezy site. Addicted to porn but don’t look the part?? How do porn addicts look? O.o Cheating to “become better” at sex. Maybe try some therapy. Seems like you have a lot to work through and could use the help

There’s not, however with hpv and low risk(that cause genital warts) once they pop up you can definitely say you have some type.But before symptoms there is no test for men/women with low risk.

Yeah, I just googled and the incubation period for HPV warts is at least a month, usually several months. No way OP saw them on the 4th day.

Should have read the whorefax

Wow, what a load of shit. Not even remotely believable.

Lying ass mofo right here

One of my best friends got it from a boyfriend who suspected he had it (other former partners told him), but since he didn't have symptoms, he didn't get tested so he had plausible deniability. She is happily married now, and has a 7 year old daughter with her husband. She still gets outbreaks but her husband has never contracted it.

Is this sone made up cautionary tale?

Problems with the story that make it seem made-up:

1. As many have said, $400/hr is REALLY high. The fact you repeatedly made a point of how cheap the sex worker was (assuming you did so to reinforce this idea that they have more STD’s the cheaper they are), yet the sex worker wasn’t cheap at ALL, means it’s likely you were just guessing and couldn’t google a definitive price range

2. What you COULD google us onset of herpes symptoms after first exposure and whaddya know…it’s FOUR DAYS! How perfect. 🤣

3. You “searched up this girls profile”? What does that even mean? Did you not already see this supposed profile when you originally found her? And then you find she “had at least 700 past clients”.

This, for me, was the clincher. Do you honestly think sex workers have a CLIENT COUNTER, on their profile? 🤣🤣🤣

Why the hell would any sex worker keep that tally and make it available to potential clients? That simply didn’t happen.

4. And what’s up with this pathological approach to dating. You decided to date someone like it was a college coarse, or like you are an alien but heard that’s a thing humans do so you added it to your schedule?

The whole thing reads like an 👽 who was tasked to go undercover and investigate the behavior of humans during their college years, ended up meeting a sex worker who swindled you out of human money and when your overlords on the mothership asked for your paperwork you had to make up a story to explain the missing money.

That, and you’ve probably given humans space AIDS.

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They’re professional because it’s their profession. Unless they’re amateur, French for the love of. They could be both tho lmao

There’s no way this is real. And if it is real…. You’re an idiot. Lol

Also, hpv is nearly impossible to tell if a male has it. You might have it for a decade and not know. There is no way you went to the dr 4 days after and they were like “yeah it’s hpv” nope.

"the whole year round, Clark."

I have no idea from where he'd get his ideas. Nothing to do with masculinity, healthy one atleast.

Umm... Correct me if I'm right but are you truly saying that men that would get bullied about their appearance, you're saying it's internal and because of their own insecurities? It's like it's justified to mock one if he's feeling insecure? Please, help me out here. I don't know what you mean. How are the ones coming from society different?

Who said anything about bullying? Or appearance?

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They're all linked together, there literally isn't one without the other. But yeah, it literally is a long conversation.

They are unrelated to this discussion.

Oh no, I agree. Especially with him never having sex before. Good story though.

Find you a sugar baby.

Then you must've experienced different masculinity than I had, because I'm having hard time understanding what you mean. How aren't self-confidence, appearance, they way men are expected to represent themselves, what to wear, how to adjust their appearance, basically two sides of the same coin?

Lol yes! I now know why this rubs me the wrong way. Reminds me of my TX public school sex education.

Remember y’all, it’s Worth The Wait! DARE you not to do drugs.

We were discussing factors related to societal pressure not everything related to confidence