Submitted by Teufel1987 t3_zte9tu in tifu

So I recently upgraded my car. And I do mean upgrade. My new car has automatic everything: transmission, wipers, windows, even headlights!

I named her Sonja. It's because she is red, the model name given by the manufacturer starts with an S, and my weird brain made a connection with those two and that old Arnold Schwarzenegger movie.

Sonja is a fancy bitch. She comes with an app (like almost everything these days) through which she "talks" to me and tells me things. Things like, if the fuel is low, or if the air pressure in the tyres is low.

One of the things she loves telling me is if I forgot to lock the doors. This is fair, because my old car did not have keyless entry nor remote lock, so one tends to forget...

Some time later, one fine Sunday morning, my wife was meeting a friend and so she decided to borrow the car.

A couple of minutes later, I get a message on my phone.

It's Sonja, and she is telling me that the doors aren't locked.

Now, I had two options. Option 1 is call my wife and tell her to lock the doors

But the problem with that was that I didn't think my wife would really appreciate me interrupting her socialising with her friend.

So I went with Option 2. You see, the app also allows me to start and stop the engine remotely as well as lock the car too.

A few taps on the phone and it was done. I went about my day doing my thing.

Problem was that I had kept the phone away while doing all that.

When my wife comes back, I am talking to her while absently looking at my phone to see if there were any notifications I missed.

Sure enough, there was one.

It was Sonja, saying, "An unauthorised entry was detected"

So I ask my wife, "Anything happen with the car?"

Immediately her entire body language changes. Wide-eyed, she says, "Your. Car. Is. Possessed!"

So it turns out that when she reached the parking lot, my wife was sitting inside the car chilling out on her phone as she was waiting for her friend to turn up, on account of being there early. That was about the time I got the message about the car being locked.

As I said before, Sonja is a fancy bitch. So when locked, she not only makes that locking sound, but also folds up the wing mirrors as they flash the orange lights multiple times.

Startled by that, my wife decided to get out of the car. So she opened the door.

Sonja did not like it. And she proceeded to show her displeasure via a massive sound and light show involving the headlights, the fog lights, the hazard lights and the horn.

My wife was standing there, frozen in shock for a long moment before she realised that she could stop it by pressing the button on the remote.

"I don't know why that crazy thing was howling so much when I opened the door! That too after it locked me in, in the first place!!" My wife exclaimed, concluding her story.

Naturally, I had to confess.

The look I got... ooooh boy!

Now when she takes the car, she makes certain to call me and announce "I am now locking your car!" with what I can only imagine is a dramatic pressing of the lock button.

TL ; DR: Locked my wife inside my fancy car all the way from home, causing quite a bit of excitement for her.

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Comments

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Uriel_dArc_Angel t1_j1d6bp4 wrote

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

I'm not gonna lie...That's the best thing I've heard in the last week...

My girl and I would have had an epic laugh about that after we both figured out what happened...

That's super funny...

I hope she's not actually mad at you...If anything it was an innocent, extremely funny mistake...

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Teufel1987 OP t1_j1dekb1 wrote

Nah. She saw the funny side of it really quickly, hence the announcements of locking the car

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cikanman t1_j1eaa4w wrote

That was my take that your wife clearly has a decent sense of humor. Sadly you will be receiving that acknowledgment call for a LOOONNNNNGGG Time

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XOIIO t1_j1dgd1i wrote

>automatic headlights

Please check if your tail lights actually come on at night, I see so many people in newer cars that drive around with no taillights and are absolutely clueless to external stimulus to try and tell them they aren't on.

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oversized_hoodie t1_j1e0m7k wrote

I blame the permanently lighted dashboards. In my old 1996 Honda you'd know real damn quick if the headlights weren't on.

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Teufel1987 OP t1_j1dh85l wrote

Yep, checked that before buying! The taillights come on too

Although, on cloudy days, my car is super confused!

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chico85t t1_j1dk635 wrote

I think that's because people don't realize you actually have to set it to auto in most cars, it's a feature but it doesn't come on by default, at least that's been the case in every car I've had that had auto headlights or auto wipers

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gnarly_weedman t1_j1h7tiq wrote

I ALWAYS left my headlights in auto mode in my previous car. Let my old man borrow it for a couple days, and he obviously didn’t like auto headlights and switched them off. Next time I drove after dark it took me embarrassingly long to realise I was driving dark. Felt like a major idiot, and realised how easy it is to become reliant on something to do something for me.

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marcocanb t1_j1gbdk6 wrote

Ford is different here for the most part.

You have to consciously turn off the lights by twisting and the default is auto.

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notimportant4now t1_j1d7poi wrote

Your story telling skills are amazing. Loved reading this story!

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StoopieHippo t1_j1ggiz7 wrote

I, too, have a newish fancy schmancy car! My husband sent it out for detailing, the extra schmancy kind where they do the interior down to the nitty gritty details. I was at work, getting a notification every 5 sec that the car was unlocked...so I was locking it. Causing the detailers to unlock it just a mere few seconds later...and then I'd get another notification... (This went on a good 4 or 5 times before I remembered it was being detailed and that mean that people needed to be in the car...)

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RandoCalrissian11 t1_j1ddv3n wrote

I have this, it’s great. Until you have a friend drop you off and you get out and he drives on. When he stops and shuts the car off he realizes you still have the key and are 2miles away.

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TheOldMancunian t1_j1d9n4i wrote

Fantastic. I think I have the same car, but mines called Myrtle. We call her that because if yiou use the real name in the car, which begins with "M" she has this annoying habit os asking you what you want her to do. I read your story to my wofe, who killed herself laughing!

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HotSalsaAssFire t1_j1fzhda wrote

At least it let her out. I had a vehicle that locked from the inside as well as the outside.

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Khalarin t1_j1d7b73 wrote

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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TigzyGee t1_j1def8k wrote

OMG this is gold!!! I'd like to know what car it is being all this super fancy, hopefully not a Tesla though since I still love my gas guzzlers 🤣🤣🤣

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Teufel1987 OP t1_j1e15eh wrote

It’s a KIA Sonet

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TigzyGee t1_j1f4ldn wrote

Nice, gotta look up prices for them in my location 😁

EDIT: Dang I just checked, Sonet's aren't sold where I am, the closest thing I can get is either a Seltos or a Sportage

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Teufel1987 OP t1_j1gxpuj wrote

The Seltos isn’t bad either. Although somehow the gear changing is smoother in the Sonet and the Sonet has a bigger boot space

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bibbiddybobbidyboo t1_j1d8ryj wrote

She could have gotten charged for the horn and fog lights going off.

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