I (21F) graduated college yesterday with straight As this semester. I didn’t walk, that was my choice. But because of that, only a handful of friends knew. My bestie (22F), let’s call her Neil Diamond, and I were making plans for a bunch of people to go out. She ended up bailing the day before so I decided not to go since there were 30+ stranger’s going to the bars. I’m an introvert and that just sounded like hell to me. I had three close friends come over to my place instead and it was so much fun. I told Neil Diamond that when her thing was over she should come over. She called me, I was on the couch so everyone heard, and she said “no one wants to hangout at your place with you” very loudly. I said okay and hung up. My friends comforted me but it still hurt. My friends and partner pointed out that was messed up and I started realizing just all these other not good things Neil Diamond does/says. All I wanted was to celebrate and feel supported and loved. When I told Neil Diamond her words hurt me this morning, she said it’s not fun unless there’s a ton of people but agreed what she said was really mean. I retorted with “I just wanted to have fun my own way the day I graduated.” She didn’t know i graduated. I’ve told her several times that this was my last semester. She realized she fucked up. I feel like I fucked up too. I asked for space and she’s been respecting my request. I’m starting to regret not walking at graduation. But the family members I wanted there couldn’t come. So I just didn’t feel like it was worth it. And in turn didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. My partner and friends last night made me feel better and we were having a ton of fun before the phone call, but having my best friend say that just makes me feel rotten.

TLDR, I told very few people I was graduating college and didn’t walk. My bestie was one of the people I told and she forgot. Proceeds to make me feel like crap for not wanting to go to bars and celebrating at home instead. Therapy Monday is gonna be fun.

So I have an update. The more I talked about it the more things resurfaced. Such as her getting mad at me for not liking her toxic ex. Her making antisemitic comments (I’m not Jewish but am non white) despite me explaining why those kinds of statements are not okay. My therapist says my best move is to simply distance myself and that this is a person I don’t need in my life. She obviously doesn’t care about me the way I care about her. I cried. Done all the “if only’s.” Been pissed as hell. And now, I’m accepting this. I denied all these signs for months and Friday was the straw that broke the camel’s back. If she reaches out then I’ll do my best to stay calm. But I will not be reaching out myself and gave my sister the presents I was going to give her. She knows what she did wrong and hopefully respects my space. Thank you for everyone who helped me realize that Neil Diamond is not my best friend.