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TucuReborn t1_j1ygru5 wrote

Reply to comment by AjahnAnarchy in TIFU by missing out on the girl that could’ve been the one by kitfoxx

This.

I was with my last longterm partner for six years, from the start of college until I was 24.

We hit it off, and our personalities were a perfect match.

But much like this story, we slowly drifted and talked less and less.

What started as a romance fit for the greatest novels just ended with us moving apart emotionally and in our life goals.

It sucks, but it happens. And unfortunately, dwelling on such things only brings you down. It cuts off your chances to go back out and be your full self.

You have to move on. Maybe not immediately, but sooner rather than later. It's what's best for your own health and social life.

I told myself to wait one month for each year at most. Six months tops. I was moving on in two, and back out in life in three. I took my time to process and evaluate, but came out knowing how to improve and ready to hit life head on like a bullshark.

I am not a bullshark, I'm more a fidgety raccoon, but you get the idea.

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Zeta_Mythoclast63 t1_j1ylzmz wrote

How exactly do you not dwell on thoughts you can't control?

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TucuReborn t1_j1ym6oc wrote

The thing is, you can.

You can't choose what pops into your head, true, but you decide if you want to keep thinking about it and let it drag you down. You can choose to think about anything else you want, be it a game, a movie, having a drink with friends next week, or drawing something. Moving forward takes work, it's not instant, and you have to choose to do it.

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Zeta_Mythoclast63 t1_j1ys2tr wrote

I see. The thinking about it can't be helped but the act of dwelling on the thought can be avoided. Gotta be honest, Im going through some shit right now and Im doing a lot of self improvement but the thought of my ex keeps popping by every moment im idle. It's an extremely shitty pestering feeling that I cant get rid of. I was able to improve my physical healthy by immersing myself in the gym but my mental health is at a shitty state.

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TucuReborn t1_j1yugru wrote

It's definitely a process for sure. Whenever you think of your ex, try to find something nearby to distract yourself for a moment. Maybe a Youtube video or a game, or a movie you adore. Literally just anything to push it out of your mind. Activities are the easiest since they require constant attention, but eventually you just learn to push it out with something else.

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Topinambourg t1_j1yzs62 wrote

Sports is the best remedy. You'll be too tired and full of endorphines to have the energy to torture yourself. It takes time but at each down period of my life, physical activity saved me

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