'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The stove top was burning, but there was no fire.

The room filled with gas, the situation was dire.

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The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

My sick sister arose to a smell that had spread.

Kids in their cozies, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down for a permanent nap.

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When out of the kitchen there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the foyer I flew like a flash,

Kicked open the door and my sister was brash.

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She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,

She opened the windows; then turned with a jerk.

And laying her finger straight at my nose,

You done fucked up, we were this close!

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All's well that ends well, I thought in my head,

I apologize profusely, at least were not dead.

We gathered our stockings, and mittens, and coats

Then we ate breakfast, shoving food down our throat.