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ensignr t1_j2bya5j wrote

Sorry for your bad experience but I don't really know what you expected from meeting someone off of Grindr; it's a hookup app. The guy you met was probably expecting to get laid not develop a relationship (although maybe that might happen in the future) and would have almost certainly thought you were looking for the same.

Probably try Tinder if that's what you're after or make sure your profile explicitly states that you want to take things slow and that going back to a guys place the first time you meet isn't what you're looking for. This will eliminate any misconception that you're using that app in particular in a way that 99.96% of its users do.

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Bigfops t1_j2c5evz wrote

Up to ‘I panicked and pushed him away’ I’m with you and was thinking the same thing and I agree with your suggestions. But that’s where it should have ended, it should have been clear that things were over and there was a miscommunication in expectations. Everything past that was inexcusable.

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ensignr t1_j2cer0c wrote

Oh yeah. Absolutely. For sure. It doesn't matter what he was expecting once it was made clear by OP that it wasn't on the table, but it's also pretty reasonable to assume that the other guy went in there with completely different expectations.

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Living-Substance-668 t1_j2ck34s wrote

It went far beyond "this guy got awkward/annoyed when we didnt hook up." Pulling him by the arm out of the bar was scary, predatory behavior. It was clear he didn't respect boundaries or consent. I think most people who use Grindr might expect a hookup, but they would in general not expect to be kidnapped and sexually assaulted.

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ensignr t1_j2cm2cw wrote

You're reading far more into OP's story than I certainly did.

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