My kids and I are not prudes, but we just don't ever discuss sex or specific body parts as they are used in intercourse.
Earlier today, my (3F) adult children and I (mom) were in a group text about nothing. One of the kids sent a text that was completely unimportant and meaningless mostly, like a picture of her gigantic spaghetti squash. Feeling like I should at least acknowledge receipt, I decided to answer with an emoji. I have an android phone, so I clicked the little emoji icon, then for whatever reason, I clicked the Food section, and I don't know why but that purple eggplant just spoke to me. I clicked and pressed send.
Shortly thereafter, my oldest asked, Mom, what is happening? Since that was the first message after mine, I answered, "It was the first emoji that popped up." The next message was, WHY WOULD YOU TELL US THAT? followed by a screenshot from the emoji dictionary explaining that the long, purple eggplant is really just used to represent a penis.
In my defense... OK, I don't really have a defense.
TL:DR Today I fucked up when I ent my kids the Eggplant emoji thinking it was an innocuous vegetable only to find out they do not want to know about me making a representative penis pop up
speedycat2014 t1_j1g9hbs wrote
More /r/kidsarefuckingstupid material, really