TIFU by changing all of my daughter's contacts in her phone

Submitted by GreenEggPage t3_zs4pb8 in tifu

This happened 10-15 years ago, when my daughter was a teen. She left her phone lying around and I, as a good father would, decided to prank her by changing the names of her contacts. I got a little carried away and changed all of them. The names I chose were completely random, but most of them were things like Porky Pig, Princess, or Elmo, etc. I intentionally did not give people names that "fit" them - especially mine.

When she found out, she was pissed. I mean, P. I. S. S. E. D. So i decided that cowardice was the best option and denied all knowledge. She initially thought that someone had hacked her phone and went to the phone store to see. She eventually decided that it had to be one of her uncles (and I owed him, so I was fine with him taking the blame). I finally came clean about 5+ years later, after she had calmed down a little bit.

And yes, I am the asshole of this story.

Tldr - I renamed all of the contacts in my teen daughter's phone and she was extremely unhappy about it.

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________________me t1_j16aifg wrote

I had an uncle who was a sailor. Once the ship he was on was carrying passengers, but apparently of the arrogant kind. As a joke, he and his friends took the (very analog) cine film cameras lying around and filmed some 'naked but dance'. He's probably told this story a hundred times, but each time he nearly choked on the punch line. "Imagine seeing this when they rewatch their holiday movies with their cocky friends!"

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userhvfegcd t1_j16c6lb wrote

this is so funny but if my dad did this I’d rage so much, simply because I hate when anyone touches my phone 💀😭

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BikergirlRider120 t1_j16fz6o wrote

And this is why I don't tell anyone my password and change it...oh wait I did tell someone my password oh well, I'm grateful that she forgot about it 😂😂😂

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NicNicNicHS t1_j16lskz wrote

yeah that's just kinda shitty and annoying and and not very funny and pretty much invading your kids privacy?

idk maybe I'm just being dramatic

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Cynderraven t1_j16n44l wrote

This is priceless... As a parent, I can totally appreciate this LOL... Way to go Dad 🙌

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terrag32256 t1_j16ra0j wrote

This is hilarious. I'm glad the uncle was blamed

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popeyegui t1_j16re06 wrote

I added a bunch of LGBTQ movies to my youngest son’s list on Netflix. His girlfriend was confused.

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cdm014 t1_j16s999 wrote

Replying to NicNicNicHS (#1,002,539)

Privacy with electronics is a privilege not a right for children and it should not be the default. It is the responsibility of a parent to occasionally monitor their child's activity for unsafe conduct.

The renaming bit... The funniness will vary from person to person.

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UsualAnybody1807 t1_j16teom wrote

Geez. I'd never trust you after something like that if I were your daughter.

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cdm014 t1_j16w00k wrote

Replying to NicNicNicHS (#1,003,353)

You are free to raise your children how you see best. I will raise mine as i see best.

However when i handed her the phone, i was clear: this is my phone which i am letting her use to make my life easier, as a reward she also gets to use it for her own life, but it's mine and i will be monitoring her activity

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NicNicNicHS t1_j16wxix wrote

Replying to cdm014 (#1,003,416)

>My children will put me in a home and never visit.

Why would you post this? We're talking about privacy.

edit:

gonna make an actual argument I guess

All you're doing is raising your kids to have trust issues, and to always hide their lives away from you.

Trust between people is always mutual, and if you don't trust them and go full big brother on them, sooner or later they won't trust you either.

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Impossible-Web740 t1_j16z2r1 wrote

I once decided to change all of the contacts in my brother's phone to "Bob", but felt guilty shortly after starting and undid it.

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OlduvaiMan t1_j171ea3 wrote

Replying to NicNicNicHS (#1,002,539)

That's exactly what this is. I have teenage kids, and understand that their phone is their private life and I have to respect that privacy.

Pranking them like this is both stupid and bad parenting. They're not your pub friends, they are your children.

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AlyTeppelin t1_j172dr9 wrote

It was funny at the time, I bet. For like a second!

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diffyqgirl t1_j172o6j wrote

Replying to cdm014 (#1,003,106)

Spying on your kid does not make them safer, it teaches them how to avoid you.

My mom insisted on installing a tracker on my sisters phone. So my sister stopped taking her phone with her when she went anywhere she thought my mom wouldn't approve of. Meaning she wouldn't have a way of calling for help if something happened, so she was less safe.

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za419 t1_j174o6k wrote

Replying to mrlazyboy (#1,003,595)

Parents probably should be encouraging their kids to feel comfortable telling their parents about their lives - secrets, even, things they don't want everyone to know, because they need advice on something.

Training kids to feel that they can't let any shred of information sit within their parents reach because their parents are boundary-stomping dickwads who think that anything to do with their children is their business and theirs alone, is the exact opposite of that.

Don't prioritize raising children that are obedient and trick you into thinking they do as they're told over raising children to be functional adults. That's the point, isn't it?

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SpacePolice04 t1_j1762mh wrote

My step dad has me as ‘Beelzebub’ in his phone because Siri wouldn’t recognize my name when he spoke it (he sometimes mumbles). I didn’t know and he asked me to fix something on his phone and I found it and said WTF?!? I went into autocorrect and changed ‘ok’ to ‘I’m really sorry I called SpacePolice beelzebub’. I then texted him a series of questions where ‘ok’ would he appropriate and it was glorious. He apparently said OK to other people too. It took him a few days to find the setting to change it back and he wisely did not ask me to help him find it.

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Raeandray t1_j17dsxt wrote

Replying to diffyqgirl (#1,003,888)

At the same time parents can’t just enable their children to go do things that are unsafe. In your example the child would’ve gone to the unsafe places either way. While I’d prefer they have a phone while being unsafe, I also can’t take the attitude of “you’re going to do unsafe things so I just won’t even try.”

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lecretnao t1_j17ibz3 wrote

Replying to za419 (#1,004,046)

Truth is that this is the first few generations raising their kids with internet technology. There’s a lot of shit out there that you guys shouldn’t be seeing as frequently as you are or as young. There are endless issues caused by the things kids watch and see.

Im 25 and got to see smart phones become popular in real time. I was 15 when I got my first smartphone, and at that time it was expected that your parent would check it. I was pissed, but the older I get, the easier it is to see why they did.

Teenagers are notoriously too young and stupid to see the obvious. They don’t comprehend the damage they’re doing to themselves. I will be monitoring my child’s internet use/phones, especially when they’re 14 and under, and that’s coming from someone who “hated my parents” for doing it.

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eljefeciego t1_j17lh9n wrote

Replying to Raeandray (#1,004,693)

Wtf you think having kids is? You're creating a life into a VERY dangerous world, managing risks and trying to not sacrifice too much of the children's freedoms in the meantime is your sole duty. And still, they will die sooner or later. Also be hurt in so many ways.

Parents should expose their kids to dangers, as many kinds as possible so they'll evetually learn to navigate them as safely as possible.

Parents' primary job is never to protect at all costs.

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Otie1983 t1_j17p7lw wrote

Replying to SpacePolice04 (#1,004,148)

That is good work.

I do the same to my husband when I manage to sneak away with his phone…

I’ve changed the name he has for himself on his phone (so what Siri calls him) a few times… Master Baiter was one, Possessor of the Giant Cock was another… I’ve also done the standard immature “yes” to things like “up my butt” or “I love penis”… but other than my folks, I’m generally the only one he texts so it’s never an issue.

I also one time set it so that when he’d type “k” it would autocorrect to the entire first book of the Iliad. That crashed his phone… but was absolutely hilarious when he called me after and was like “REALLY?!”

One time - in all the years we’ve been together - he managed to get “revenge” by changing what “k” autocorrects to for me - “gotcha bitch!”. Jokes on him, now any time he asks me a question I’d normally answer with “k” he gets the answer “gotcha bitch!”… I’m keeping it forever 🤣

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Zombata t1_j17r74s wrote

it's a pretty good way to be sent to retirement home, ngl

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Zero-to-36 t1_j17z6uz wrote

Replying to SpacePolice04 (#1,004,148)

I've always used android, my ex iPhone. Apparently there's a setting for the assistant that will say your chosen name. My comedian son decided to change it to bouncy boobs, or something similar. When she was back in the living with us all he said something like say my name and the ex nearly peed she was laughing so hard.

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RealBlu3B3rry t1_j180eys wrote

Damn bro what a crazy story, you really fucked up soooooo hard!!!!!!

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unsupported t1_j181tga wrote

I played a subtle joke on my wife once by changing her custom dictionary from "now" to "meow". She uses talk to text and it's always wrong anyway. This frustrated herz but she. I don't know how I kept quiet for as long as I did, but she laughed when I told her.

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rotating_pebble t1_j183h73 wrote

Lol what? This is something a 12 year old does to their classmate, not what a father does to a daughter.

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atom64 t1_j188zm7 wrote

oh wow it took her 5 years to calm "a litte" down for this prank ? damn

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mrlazyboy t1_j18g3ll wrote

Replying to za419 (#1,004,046)

Independent of how parents raise their children, most kids are going to try and get around their parents wishes. If you don’t believe that, I’d argue you’ve never met a child

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Raeandray t1_j18j0g5 wrote

Replying to eljefeciego (#1,005,181)

> Parents' primary job is never to protect at all costs

I didn't say it was. In fact my whole post was meant to highlight the tightrope parents have to walk balancing risks vs independence as they help their kids grow.

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keyser90 t1_j18sge1 wrote

This is a true story, but all the names have been changed

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VelvetDawn13 t1_j18vaf6 wrote

My husband had his ex-wife as “Big Twat” in the phone until one day his (then 13yo) daughter picked up his ringing cell phone saw “Big Twat” and said Hey Daddy mom’s calling…

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SandInTheGears t1_j194zwu wrote

Don't call it a prank, call it a valuable lesson on the importance of regular backups

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za419 t1_j19dpin wrote

Replying to mrlazyboy (#1,007,091)

That's absolutely true, and that's why it's pointless to try to track everything they do. It gives the kid attacker's advantage - You have to stop them from getting through in a thousand ways, they only have to catch you not defending the castle once.

Which leads us to the question of goals. Why is it that this is a war? We already know we're going to lose, so all we achieve is blundering mutual trust.

Is the goal to slow them down from getting to see what they will manage to see anyway? Because by banning it, they'll be very interested in why it's banned, and you may well get it seen even earlier by providing that incentive.

I think the goal should be raising the child to be a well-adjusted, successful adult. Unless things go very wrong, they'll spend most of their lives as adults anyway.

And to that end, I'd argue a foundation of mutual trust, based on a parent and child being willing to approach each other and trust each other with their problems, even the ones that are embarrassing or difficult to talk about.

And therefore, I'd rather teach them how to be responsible and help them learn how to navigate an internet-connected life, than to try to box them up and present myself as an obstacle to get around. Because I believe that will provide a better foundation for a parent-child relationship, and for the development of a child into a person who will outlast me.

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k9moonmoon t1_j19ldgt wrote

Replying to diffyqgirl (#1,003,888)

I fully respect a teens right to privacy. But changing names in a contact list, especially at the Era the OP did it, isn't exactly invading privacy. You can access the contact list without reading any messages. The sticking point would be how much you trust the prankster that all they did was the contact list aspect and how private the teen treats their phone. If they were leaving it out unlocked regularly vs being very mindful.

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ScarBrandon t1_j19okb7 wrote

This is a bit odd, this would be a prank someone does to there classmate or friend as a joke. Not what a father does to her daughter

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ajzanfa t1_j19trg8 wrote

"I finally came clean about 5+ years later, after she had calmed down a little bit" Damn bro... Did it took that much time for her to calm down? LMAO

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cdm014 t1_j19x3ax wrote

Replying to Thepinkknitter (#1,003,453)

The steps of raising a child to do something responsibly

  1. No you don't have the tools necessary
  2. Modeling and building the tool set
  3. Supervised activity (you get to do it but i observe and we discuss your goals and how well you're moving towards them) and i step in when i need to protect you
  4. Okay I'm here if you need me
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cdm014 t1_j19xlit wrote

Replying to za419 (#1,009,981)

The foundation of trust that she will act safely and responsibly comes from first observing her acting safely and responsibly in a controlled setting

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Otie1983 t1_j1a2vp2 wrote

Replying to happydisasters (#1,005,964)

I don’t know for sure… but I would imagine most smart phones would have that ability. It’s in the same place that you’d input abbreviations that you want the phone to expand (I know “omw” was automatically programmed in mine to expand to “On my way!”, I never set it, since I generally don’t have to tell anyone that LOL).

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H-005 t1_j1al4we wrote

Replying to furiousfran (#1,013,630)

As long as it's a one time thing, doesn't hurt anyone and you have a great relationship with that person, its a fun prank, no? If it's repeated, it becomes annoying, but once is perfectly fine.

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za419 t1_j1b47ov wrote

Replying to cdm014 (#1,011,795)

Your trust in her, perhaps. You should trust her anyway though - She's your daughter, you probably know her better than anyone and frankly if she's already untrustworthy by the time she's on the internet then you've either majorly screwed her up or you're being awfully bad about not letting her use a computer.

The more important trust, that you need to establish with her during the adolescent years where she's figuring out how the world works and where she fits in it, is her trust in you. That's not something that exists just because of DNA, contrary to many subpar parents expectations - It exists because you show her that she can trust you.

And again - trust is a two way street. The first step to her trusting you is you trusting her.

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