whosmansisthis24 t1_j2cjj98 wrote on December 31, 2022 at 5:58 AM

Reply to comment by undulatee in TIFU by reconnecting with my EX girlfriend by Ltislande

Yup same here...

Have had this happen and a few other similar things. I haven't trusted ANYONE entirely in about 8 years+

It sucks. Every relationship I've been in and every friend I make I just assume they will stab me in the back someday or I think about how anyone under certain circumstances will betray anyone.

It's a cold world once you see how at the end of the day you LEGIT only have your self.

The amount of people's partners who are reading this very message that are getting cheated on right this second is probably more than anyone could guess.

Remember treat your partner well and enjoy the good times but NEVER forget that it's unhealthy to place all your happiness within another person.

undulatee t1_j2cvsw6 wrote on December 31, 2022 at 8:25 AM

That’s some real pain; hoping you’re doing better now.

I’ve been the fucker and the fuckee, neither are fun. Now I just focus on being kind to others as best I can. I’m not good at it. I still lose my temper and say shit I regret, but it feels better than serving myself.

I hear you though, I’m going through it now myself. Trauma never truly leaves you. Wishing you better days and a healthy life.

whosmansisthis24 t1_j2egigg wrote on December 31, 2022 at 5:38 PM

Thanks for the kindness! Nice to see some humanity. I have learned a lot about this place from all my trauma and have def been the stabber and the stabbed. I have never cheated on a partner ever but I've slept with girls in relationships. Even that kinda fucked me up. I was just young and horny but after the encounters were done id be just kind of grossed out. Like you can really sleep with someone and then answer your phone and tell your man how much you miss him and how much he means to you?

So yeah, I've done my dirt but I realized how much of a shit bag I was as soon as I did them. I would never sleep with someone in a relationship anymore.

The guarded part is really awful though. I mean, it's literally EVERY relationship in every form doesn't carry the weight it did when I was in my 20s. When I was younger (31 now) I used to hold my relationships way tighter with a "my girl has my back no matter what" and "my best friend would never fuck me over" but after watching how humans are I realize there's a VERY small percent of loyalty in this world.

I am stupid dumb fiercely loyal. I had a therapist after a certain incident tell me that I hold people to the same standards I hold myself too and not everyone is like me and that's just going to cause unhappiness and they are so right. I just have to face the cold hard facts that there's a good chance I'll never have somebody wether a partner or a friend who is as loyal as me. So I just work on loving myself more so instead.

Hope you doing good too and navigating this strange human experience with success!