farrenkm t1_j2c9o3s wrote
I had two broken teeth that had been repaired (to the best they could) when I was in high school. I have a tooth gap in those two front teeth. I met my girlfriend in high school over 30 years ago. I was also the computer geek.
When we got married, I was over 300 pounds. Still am (I've had periods of time when I've been below that, but mostly over 300). We got married over 25 years ago.
I didn't get my Associate's degree until over 10 years out of high school. My Bachelor's was over 25 years out of high school.
You mention permanent organ damage. I lost vision in an eye in May 2020 due to a stress event. The workup showed I had a congenital heart condition I never knew anything about.
I have always been an introvert. I had some major changes in my life since September 2021 that have caused me mental, emotional, and spiritual issues, such that I left my religion. The stress from all of this induced some additional physical issues, such that I was put on five new cardiac medications in less than four months. I found out in June I've had lifelong anxiety I didn't know about. (I didn't know what anxiety felt like, so I couldn't relate it.) The introvert has slowly started to reach out to friends and co-workers, asking if they want to go to Happy Hour somewhere. And I'm the one initiating it. And I go and I have a good time.
I'm squarely middle age on the road of life, where I see the milepost that says 50.
This is not me trying to one-up. This is me trying to tell you your life is far from over. You can become more social -- if you want to. You can meet someone who respects you for you, even if your body doesn't look like a model. You can lose the weight. I won't say it's easy. Talk to your doctor. But if you want to accomplish it, it can be done. It'll take time. Once you start to meet people who respect you for you, you'll start to feel better in your skin because you'll be surrounded by people who don't find what you look like important, just who you are.
Your life doesn't have to be storybook, following exactly what society says right when it says. And you can have a very satisfying, fulfilling life.
Please, keep the therapy going. Keep the gym going. You'll see results. It'll be slow, but it'll happen. It's been slow for me. But it's happening, and it will for you too.
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