TIFU by exfoliating my public area

Submitted by Hot_Supermarket4369 t3_zx1zjc in tifu

Edit (spelling): title should say “pubic”

Tomorrow I am getting a Brazilian sugaring treatment (its kind of like a wax but supposedly less painful) for the first time. I’m pretty nervous because I’ve never had anything like this done before. I saw online that you should exfoliate your pubic area 24 hours before for the best results. I don’t have an exfoliating brush so I decided to just use a washcloth - now here is where I fucked up. I chopped a bunch of onions for food prep on Christmas. My hands reeked of onions afterwards so I had vigorously washed them and dried them off with a washcloth in my bathroom. I put out a clean one, but I guess I must have mindlessly thrown the clean cloth into the hamper and kept the onion cloth on the bathroom counter. So tonight when I went to exfoliate, the onion cloth was still there. I didn’t realize until it was too late. I exfoliated my entire pubic area with a washcloth that reeks of onions and now my cooch smells like the delicious but onion-y casserole we ate on Christmas. And if you cook, you know that’s a lingering smell. Praying to whatever God is not ashamed of my existence that the esthetician has a cold or something and can’t smell the unmistakable stench of onion coming off my vagina tomorrow. Also pleading with my vagina’s cranky and sensitive pH levels that this doesn’t give me an infection of some sort. The level of shame I now have for my own vagina makes up for the all time low of hope I possess for her future.

TL;DR: Accidentally exfoliated my coochie with a towel I’d used to dry off my onion-y hands. Now my whole vagina reeks of onion and I’m scheduled to have an esthetician all up in my junk tomorrow.

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albinoferret t1_j1y25p8 wrote

Estheticians of Reddit, what’s the weirdest customer experience you’ve encountered?

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Fatassgecko t1_j1y2bx7 wrote

To cheer you up, here's my version

Had jock itch,

Try not to scratch,

Thought mouthwash would be nice with the cooling effect,

Wipe it all over my balls and thigh,

The delayed agony begin,

Felt like there's a thousand cut on my ball and burning on literal fire.

I did not drop a single tear when I broke off my arm. I cried like a baby in fetal position when I rubbed my ball with mouthwash.

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Fatassgecko t1_j1ydf0z wrote

Replying to aussie_nub (#1,109,909)

Improvisation with whatever tools I have

The thought process goes as follow:

What cause jock itch?

Warm and moisture= fungus infection

Does it mean I could cure it fast with disinfectant?

What tools do I have that disinfect stuff?

-Alcohol

-toothpaste

-vinegar

-Mouthwash

Than I remembered someone had a blowjob, with a cooling effect blow job, I suspected it's either mouthwash or ice water.

But it's itching bad, so mouthwash is the way I choosed to be dead inside.

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OkVolume1 t1_j1ymlxq wrote

Guess you've got an Onion ring now..

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babayfish t1_j1ynmbi wrote

If you can find something made of stainless steel that you can safely rub on the area, get some warm water and use the stainless steel whatever like soap, should take away the onion smell

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dysphoric_amalgam t1_j1z9tym wrote

Replying to Fatassgecko (#1,109,691)

Here's my version.

I was born with flat feet. This is important to know because once upon I went water skiing when I was a teenager.

I walk like a duck with my feet pointed out, and can't really hold them straight. The error with water skiing was that I immediately did the splits my first time on the skis, and strained every muscle in my groin and inner thighs, because my feet point out like that.

Genius me decides when I get home to put Icy Hot on my thighs. Icy Hot doesn't really stay put.

After a few minutes I realized my error, and...

...well, the story ends with my mom barging into the bathroom, concerned, to see me doing the doggie wipe in the tub, screaming in agony from both the pain in my thighs and my burning McNuggets.

That tub couldn't fill fast enough.

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sleazysheep t1_j24lx91 wrote

Replying to albinoferret (#1,109,663)

in beauty school i had an extremely pregnant woman strip down to the complete nude except socks after i told her specifically to just take her pants off , didnt offer full Brazilian just bikini line waxes so no need for full nude and she almost refused to get clothes back on until i went and grabbed an educator lmaoo

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