I like to think that in gay relationships, Sir Ian McKellen shows up at your doorstep dressed as Gandalf. He invites himself in and presents the parents with a child over a nice cup of tea. There is no question of where the kid came from, no question of Sir Ian dressed as Gandalf just showing up on your doorstep. There is just a pleasant cup of tea, a child is handed over, and Gandalf just walks out the door